ADULTS ONLY! 18+
Warning: Chickens!
Minerva
~ The Birds and The Beasts ~
Lieutenant Horatio Hornblower straightened his jacket, smoothed down his unruly curls and knocked softly on the cabin door.
'Come in,' was the gruff reply. Taking a deep breath Horatio slowly opened the door.
Captain Edward Pellew was seated at his desk examining a map spread in front of him. He looked up; heavy brows knitted together, lips pursed. He was secretly pleased to see the young Lieutenant, but such a show of affection would be out of place. He settled for a frown.
'Sir, if I may impose on you, I am in need of some advice.' Horatio began uneasily, hoping that Pellew wouldn't detect his nervousness.
'Yes, go on Mr. Hornblower,' Pellew watched in fascination as Horatio nervously licked his lips, cast his eyes to the heavens and continued.
'I caught Seaman Stiles with a chicken, Sir'
'Was he pilfering the chicken?' Pellew growled out. Horatio blinked, rolled his dark eyes around a little more as he considered his words then answered 'No, that's not quite how it should be described Sir.'
'Well then what was he doing Mr. Hornblower, I haven't got all day man!'
Horatio sucked his top lip in for a moment. 'He was fucking it Sir.' He blurted out, a slow blush rising from his neck.
It was Captain Pellew's turn to blink. 'What did you say Mr. Hornblower?' he asked in disbelief. Not because he doubted that a seaman would do such a thing but because he had never thought to hear the innocent young Lieutenant utter such a word. Sometimes, late at night when sleep eluded him, he'd imagine a different set of circumstances that led to Mr. Hornblower gasping out just such a word, followed closely by 'me!' but Pellew knew such fantasies were best kept for the dark.
'I said Seaman Stiles was fucking the chicken sir.' Horatio said again, batting his long dark lashes, hoping desperately that Captain Pellew wouldn't ask for any more details. He was trying very hard to put the whole scene out of his mind.
'I see. Well what is the problem Mr. Hornblower? The Articles of War are quite clear about the punishment for such matters.' He cleared his throat and quoted '"If any person in the fleet shall commit the unnatural and detestable sin of buggery or sodomy with man or beast, he shall be punished with death." This is no time to be soft Mr. Hornblower!'
Long fingers came up to brush strands of dark hair from the suntanned face. 'But that is the problem sir. A chicken is a fowl and as such should be considered a bird not a beast. I really am unsure if the Articles of War cover birds. I thought, perhaps they meant the four-legged type of beasts.' Horatio paused, swallowed, took in Pellew's stunned expression and pressed on. 'And then of course there is the matter of whether it was buggery or sodomy. I really don’t know the correct term for what he was doing to that chicken. You see Sir; I have no experience with this sort of thing. Are they the same or are they different?'
'Oh my?' Captain Pellew stood, crossed to a small sideboard and took out two glasses and a bottle of brandy. He poured himself one, swallowed it, poured another and then turned back to the Lieutenant.
'Could I offer you a brandy Mr. Hornblower?' he asked a little breathlessly.
'No thank you Captain, it is a little early for me.' Horatio replied, remembering that the sun had not long risen over the horizon. It was unlike Captain Pellew to drink so early in the day but perhaps he too, was worried about the fate of one of his crewmen.
Captain Pellew drank down the second brandy and looked back to the innocent brown eyes waiting for his reply.
'I can understand your concerns Mr. Hornblower, they are very…noble. I agree that the Articles of War are directed at beasts rather than birds. After all, if one takes milk in ones tea then one would like to think that the ships goat has been spared the unwanted advances of the ships crew, although I DO recall a case where they hung a fellow for just that sort of thing.'
Horatio's eyes became wider as the Captain's words conjured up pictures in his mind. A goat? Surely not! Perhaps he should have kept a closer watch on the men when he was captaining the ‘Caroline’. They did seem uncommonly eager of volunteer to clean out the cattle!
'I understand Stiles' frustration, we have been at sea a long time without the company of women.' Captain Pellew murmured, his own thoughts traveling back to visions of Lieutenant Hornblower with his eyes wide and lashes blinking in shock from something entirely different.
'The company of what Sir?' Horatio asked, realising his Captain had spoken again and trying hard banish pictures of orgies in the cattle stalls from his imagination.
'Women Mr. Hornblower. You do remember them, don't you?'
'Not really Sir. That is to say I didn't know them in the first place..er...their company that is...their company.' Horatio licked his lips and wondered why the mention of women always made him so flustered. He never felt that way around men.
'I see.' Pellew replied making a few more mental notes about the young man in front of him.
'So what should I do Sir?'
Pellew blinked, thought about what he'd like to tell Horatio to do and quickly thrust that thought aside. The young man was asking for his help and as Captain it was his place to advise his Officers.
'In this case, I think a show of leniency would not be out of place. You should give Stiles a firm warning and then offer him some advice as to the more ...acceptable ways ...of dealing with ones…urges.' Pellew waved his hand around a little hoping Horatio would understand.
'Oh yes, of course.' A wide smile graced the full red lips. 'I could suggest he find someone to ...give him a hand...so to speak.' Perhaps there was no need to be embarrassed about talking to the Captain about this after all. He seemed to know something about the matter.
‘Someone? You mean someone else?’ Pellew asked. Maybe it was time for more brandy.
‘Why yes Sir, that was what you meant, wasn’t it. A friend to help him out? It is more fun that way. That’s what Archie always says.’
It was definitely time for more brandy Pellew decided and crossed back to the sideboard. 'Ah well, yes, I suppose that would be acceptable.' Was it suddenly getting hot in the cabin?
'Lips, tongue and mouth can be quite good too.' Horatio continued smiling. Pellew splashed brandy everywhere. 'What?' he asked, shocked.
'Archie...Mr. Kennedy, spent quite a bit of time around the theatre when he was younger and he’s shown me the most amazing things! The Articles of War don't mention any of them!'
Pellew crossed quickly back to his desk and sat down, heavily. 'I see.' Perhaps Mr. Hornblower wasn't quite as innocent as he seemed. 'It might be better, Mr. Hornblower if you didn't mention THESE things to Stiles. You wouldn't want him to get the wrong idea. You do have a position to uphold, Lieutenant.'
That lovely blush was back again. 'Of course Captain. I understand.'
'Now I think the best thing would be to give Stiles a warning, make sure the chickens are securely locked up, dispose of the poor unfortunate bird over the side while no one is looking and try to forget this whole incident.' Pellew doubted HE would forget it for a very long time.
There was a worried look on Horatio's face. 'Well there is a slight problem, Sir. You see, this happened yesterday Sir and the chicken is gone.'
'Gone? Gone where?'
'It was the cook, Sir, he had sent Stiles to get a chicken for dinner and seeing as how the poor bird was a little the worse for wear, he wrung it’s neck and served it up last night.'
Too much brandy too early in the morning; that must be the reason Captain Pellew dashed from the cabin, Horatio told himself as he followed his Captain up onto the deck of the ‘Indy’ and watched as he vomited over the side.
'Are you all right Sir?' he asked after a decent interval. Pellew looked very pale.
'And I thought Cook was just trying out some new seasonings.' Pellew muttered wiping his mouth and silently vowing never to eat chicken again.
'I'm sorry Captain, this is my fault. I simply did not know how to handle the situation. Here, let me help you.' Horatio took Pellew's arm as they made their way back to his cabin.
'Mr. Hornblower, you should view this as a learning experience.' Pellew had lost any anger he felt the moment Horatio had touched his arm. If only he could find a way to keep the firm hand there a little longer. 'When you get your own command you will have to deal with all types of problems amongst the officers and crew. It's best to find out about such things now.'
Horatio sighed deeply and looked at Pellew. He fluttered his eyelashes and bit his lip. 'But there is still one thing that I need to know Sir,' he said softly, leaning a little closer.
'And what is that Mr. Hornblower?' Captain Pellew asked cautiously. What now?
'The difference between buggery and sodomy, Sir?'
There comes a time when a Captain has to stop his talking and lead by example, to take charge of a situation and teach his officers all he knew about seamanship by action rather than words.
'You'd better close the door Mr. Hornblower, this might take a while.'
The End.
Jenny Jones, July 1999
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