Disclaimer: The Characters of Archie Kennedy, Captain Pellew, Horatio Hornblower, Bracegirdle, Bowles, Lord Edrington and Matthews are NOT MINE. All other original characters are mine and should not be used without permission.

Rating: R18+

Warnings: M/M & M/F sex, violence, bad language, blasphemy, racial slurs, references to rape. Some characters may be deemed underage in some countries.

Feedback: All comments are always appreciated. Jonathan_riley@yahoo.com

Note: Whilst I have attempted to maintain Historical and Naval authenticity, some errors may be present. Should you find any I would be happy to hear from you.

This story is a sequel to 'Through Archie's Eyes' and the Postscript Story 'Peter's Story'. You should read those first before attempting this one. The Postscript Story 'Jonathan's Story' can simply be attributed to one of Jonathan's vivid dreams <VBG>      

Through Jonathan's Eyes.  

Gibraltar June 1801

Blue eyes haunted Jonathan Riley's sleep. Archie's eyes!

Twelve months ago they had stared at him, full of disbelief and hurt as Riley had muttered out his apology and stumbled from the Captain's cabin. Now they came to him in his sleep; a constant reminder of what he had lost that day.

For Jonathan Riley, the incident twelves months ago had been doubly damning. Not only had he lost Archie Kennedy's friendship by having it made to look like something dirty by Midshipman Beddow's cruel accusations. But, he had also been forced to accept things about himself that he had long tried to ignore and even now struggled to understand.

Perhaps that was the real reason he was here this morning, naked and exhausted in bed with a stranger. He rubbed his eyes and tried to forget the faint ache in his head, the legacy of too much to drink last night.

"Morning love. Are you awake?" asked the drowsy voice beside him.

"Yes," he answered very quietly. He sat up slowly and looked around for his clothes.

A small hand reached out and began to trail down his chest. He grabbed it before it could sink any lower.

"I should going," he said, wanting to leave as quickly as possible but reluctant to get out of the bed and display his nakedness to the girl. No doubt she'd seen it all last night, but he'd been more than a little drunk then and it hadn't bothered him. Now, in the clear light of morning, he felt ashamed.

"Can you stay a little longer love?" she asked, sitting up beside him, quite unconcerned by her own state of undress. "I'll let you do it again, seeing as how it was your first time and all," she purred. Her hand came up to play with Riley's strawberry blonde hair where it lay loose upon his lightly freckled shoulders. "No extra charge, just let me have a little souvenir, eh? Can I have one of them pretty curls? I never had a lad with hair this colour before."

Riley blushed even more and tried not to stare at her breasts. "I really don't have time. I have to report to my ship. I think I'm late already," he lied, sliding away from her hands.

She was pretty enough and young, probably not much older than he was. Lionel had chosen well. She'd been patient with him too and had never once made him feel like the fumbling novice that he was sure he must be. He'd enjoyed her, well, as much as you could enjoy a stranger whose name you didn't know. She'd probably told him that last night whilst she was giving him instructions, but he didn't remember.

He'd been so eager for this and yet now, on reflection, it had been strangely disappointing. Perhaps Archie had been right after all. Hurriedly he pulled on his clothes, refusing to think about Archie Kennedy or his advice. It was too late for that now.

Last night Riley had hoped that this one act might somehow be the answer to all his concerns. That by doing this he might banish the thoughts that plagued him daily and the dreams that ruled his sleep.

He had been wrong. The mere thought of Archie Kennedy set his heart beating faster. He blushed even more as he remembered that it had been Archie that he had thought about at the pinnacle of his pleasure.

The girl was still sitting in the bed watching him with a silly little grin on her face. He found it unsettling. On impulse he drew the small dirk that he wore as part of his dress uniform and cut off a piece of his hair.

"Here you are," Riley said, hoping to sound gallant and grateful. In reality he wanted to run.

The girl pouted as he placed the ringlet in her hand. "I was hoping for one of the others too, love." she teased.

He pulled his hair back and tied it securely with a black ribbon. "Maybe another time," he muttered as he fled the room.

Outside Lionel Thockmorton waited, seated on a low stone wall enjoying the sun.

"Ah there you are young Jonathan! A man at last! Now you must tell me all about it, every last detail!"

Riley groaned inwardly and rubbed his forehead. Thockmorton, on seeing the gesture continued quite unabashed. "Sore head? But which one? Too much drink or too much rogering?"

"Both," Riley muttered, hoping to end the conversation. He liked Lionel and knew him to be all bluster, but he really didn't want to talk about this now. "Have you seen Peter or Archie this morning?" Riley continued hoping to change the subject.

Thockmorton leapt to the bait. "Ah therein lies a mystery, Jonathan! Neither of them found their way to Miss Angelina's last night. They must have found themselves some other sport!"

There was no reason to feel the sinking in his stomach, Riley told himself. There was a simple explanation as to where the two were. But at the back of his mind Riley could not help but feel a slight shiver of disquiet.

As the two young men made their way back to the tavern where they had left Kennedy and Crittenden the evening before, Lionel Thockmorton gave a lively recount of his prowess at the brothel. Jonathan only half listened. His mind was elsewhere.

In the past twelve months, whilst anguishing over his own feelings, Riley had finally come to understand the nature of the friendship that Peter Crittenden had once enjoyed with his dead friend Harry Stratford. At first, Riley had been shocked that he had not realised what was between the pair at the time. But he had been younger then, and his knowledge of such things almost non-existent. He knew that certain acts were forbidden under The Articles of War, but was ignorant as to what they entailed.

Beddows had put an end to that. The older midshipman had taken great delight in giving Riley graphic details using course words and base gestures. The resulting picture had been made worse by the inclusion of Archie Kennedy, as a participant in and perpetrator of such acts.

Riley had still been reeling from the shock when Archie had returned to the Middie's berth. He had spoken without thought, not yet having had time to assimilate Beddows accusations. Archie's resulting fit had been the first in a long series of developments that had left Riley feeling even more confused and guilty.

It had been the disclosure late the next day by Lieutenant Hornblower, which had convinced Riley that he was to blame for Archie's present condition. Lieutenant Hornblower had sought Riley out on the foredeck and proceeded to explain how Archie Kennedy had been a victim of abuse by a man named Jack Simpson. This story, coupled with Beddows earlier descriptions had left Riley feeling sick. It also left him with a feeling of self-loathing as he remembered how much he had enjoyed the feel of Archie lying next to him in his hammock. He remembered Archie's reluctance. He remembered how he had begged his friend to keep him company. What must Archie have thought? What must he have felt? I'm no better than that man Simpson, Riley had finally decided.

But try as he may, Riley could not banish the feelings he had for Archie. Feelings that had become more concrete despite the associated sense of revulsion that Beddows had conjured.

For a long time Riley had avoided being near to Archie, worried that somehow the blonde midshipman would sense the feelings that he fought to keep hidden. Archie would be disgusted if he should ever found out. Everyone would be disgusted.

Six months ago tragedy had struck. Harry Stratford had been killed in battle and Riley had been witness to what the resultant grief had done to Peter Crittenden. It was Crittenden's pain and heartache that made Riley see there was a second side to that which Beddows had called 'unnatural'. As Crittenden lay slumped on the floor, sobbing in Archie arms, speaking of his love for Harry Stratford, Riley had finally come to understand that for some men such things were done for love.

It had been a powerful lesson and one that had changed Riley's whole perception of life. But at the same time came a further realisation; even if there was pleasure to be found in such a relationship would Archie ever willingly seek it out?

So Jonathan Riley had endeavoured to put all thoughts of Archie Kennedy from his mind. Lionel's plans to celebrate Riley's sixteenth birthday with a visit to a brothel had initially been refused. But after thinking about it, Riley decided that perhaps this of all things, might cure him of his feelings for not only Archie, but all men. Perhaps once he had been with a woman, once he had experienced what Lionel talked endlessly about, then he would feel different.

They the entered the small tavern where they had been yesterday and immediately saw Kennedy and Crittenden sitting closely together across the room. One look at Archie Kennedy, his fair hair still loose and laughter in his eyes, was enough for Jonathan Riley to know that nothing had changed.      

Part 2

"At last! The missing Midshipmen are found!" Thockmorton called out at the top of his voice and waved. On hearing Lionel's greeting, Archie and Peter looked up. Archie blushed. Peter grinned.

"That's one Midshipman and one Acting Lieutenant, Lionel." Crittenden corrected with a smirk. "Don't you forget it." Upon the transfer of Horatio, a new Lieutenant, Mr Hays had been assigned to the Indefatigable but a short time later Mr Bracegirdle left after being promoted to Post Captain. Archie had once again been given the position of Acting Lieutenant, a position that might soon become permanent if he was successful in the examination yesterday.

"And what happened to you gentlemen last night?" Thockmorton inquired, seating himself at the table and waving his hand for service. "Did you drink so much that you simply fell under the table together?"

Archie flicked his eyes towards Peter before looking into his glass of ale.

"Not at all Lionel." Crittenden leaned back in his chair and balanced it on the two back legs. "We found a couple of willing lasses right here. They were quite taken with us. We got rooms upstairs. Isn't that right Archie?"

"Oh yes." Archie agreed smiling to himself.

"We had a wonderful night. Didn't cost us a penny either. They were more than eager." Crittenden looked at Archie and grinned. The blue eyes looked up and slowly met Crittenden's. Something passed between them in that look. Something Jonathan saw, but did not fully understand. He glanced at Thockmorton but the aristocratic midshipman's attention was elsewhere.

"What about you Jonathan?" Archie's voice called him back. Riley looked into those blue eyes and saw something different there. Archie was happy. Happier than Jonathan had seen him look in a months.

"What?" Jonathan asked, caught by those eyes and trying to look deeper into the soul that was just out of his reach.

"How did it go, Jonathan? How was your...er...night?" Archie's voice had changed to the soft way he used to speak when they had shared confidences long ago. His eyes now showed a gentle concern.

"Oh...it was...fine...yes, it was good, thank you Archie." Jonathan stuttered and looked away, feeling uncomfortable and slightly confused. What had happened here, last night, between these two?

"So shall we have a little wager gentlemen?" Thockmorton lifted his newly arrived glass of ale and took a sip.

"On what Lionel?" Peter asked. He helped himself to a chunk of bread from the plate that had been placed in front of Thockmorton.

"Each man on his honour of course. But what's say we have a wager as to who fired off their cannon the greatest number of times. Where are my eggs woman?" The last was shouted across the room. Riley jumped.

"You're on Lionel. Shall we say...next months allowance?" Crittenden was grinning across the table and even Archie was trying to hide his smile.

The eggs arrived, greasy and half cooked. Thockmorton tucked in without further comment.

"Not eating Jonathan?" Archie asked softly. Those blue eyes were still full of growing concern.

"No, I feel a little..."

"Worn out, no doubt!" Thockmorton supplied happily. "You first then, young Jonathan. How many shots did you get off?"

Riley paused. He'd become accustomed to talk such as this, but had never been included in it before today. He hesitated, unsure of his answer.

"Do you mean actually...doing it...with the...er...girl...or does it count if I um...before I...actually...while she was...um..?"

Crittenden spluttered into his ale. "Think he might have missed the bloody target, Lionel!" Thockmorton burst out laughing. He hit Riley affectionately on the back. Riley blushed and hung his head wondering if he would ever be taken seriously.

"How many times did you come lad?" Thockmorton finally managed to get out between snorts of laughter.

"Three," Riley muttered. He didn't like this game at all.

"Good for you, young Jonathan, but that's not going to win you the prize!" Thockmorton pulled a lace handkerchief from his pocket and delicately wiped his lips. "Now I managed to perform most admirably five times, with two delightful young doxies who were more than impressed with my marksmanship." He folded his arms and sat back with a self-satisfied smirk.

"Very impressive as always, Mr Thockmorton." Peter Crittenden said seriously, then grinned wickedly. "But I am afraid I matched your record last night. And I had just ONE partner."

"Hmph," Lionel frowned clearly unimpressed. "Well it's a tie then."

"Perhaps not, we haven't heard from Mr Kennedy?" Peter tilted his head and raised an eyebrow at Archie. "What about you Arch?"

Archie looked up eyes alight, and beamed. "Six times, gentlemen. I had an outstanding partner who inspired me to levels of greatness above and beyond the call of duty!"

"I don't believe you!" Thockmorton blurted out.

"Oh believe him, Lionel. I'll bear witness!" Crittenden grinned. Riley's mouth flew open and even Thockmorton looked askance.

"Heard it all through the wall. We had adjoining rooms, you see." Crittenden continued calmly. "I can attest to the fact that Mr Kennedy came six times, very loudly indeed."

"I always thought a man was supposed to slow down with age." Thockmorton said with a slight smirk.

"I'm only twenty four Lionel. I am sure I have a few good years left in me yet." Archie replied, not taking offence at the jest.

"Well, I guess congratulations are in order." Thockmorton held out his hand and shook Archie's vigorously. "Don't suppose you could point out the lass in question do you Archie?"

Archie grinned and flicked a glance at Crittenden. "A gentleman never tells, Lionel," he replied shyly.

Throughout the exchange Jonathan Riley had watched and listened taking in every small nuance, every look that passed between Archie and Peter. It brought back memories of Peter and Harry Stratford laughing together in the Middie's berth, sharing a private joke. He watched the interplay as Crittenden casually brushed Archie's arm with his hand, or leaned in closer than was necessary when they spoke. But the most amazing thing was that rather than be repulsed by it, Archie seemed to enjoy the attention.

Had he been wrong?

Had all his assumptions about Archie Kennedy gleaned most painfully during the incident last year been incorrect? For surely it was there for anyone to see; anyone, that is, who cared to look closely at the two young men across the table.

Archie Kennedy and Peter Crittenden were lovers.

The realisation slowly sank in leaving Jonathan Riley feeling cold. He had been a fool. He had misunderstood everything and now he had lost the chance to ever have Archie for his own.

"Jonathan? Are you sure you are all right?" With great reluctance, Jonathan looked up into the smiling blue eyes again and felt his heart sink. "Yes Archie," he answered trying hard to smile. "I'm fine."  

Part 3

They were back on board the Indy by the commencement of the Afternoon watch. Little Pip Moseby was bursting with questions as they stepped into the Middies Berth. Thankfully Lionel Thockmorton was happy to oblige and set about regaling the youngster with tales of their night ashore, albeit a watered down version.

But Moseby still sought out Riley for a first hand description when they retired to their hammocks that evening. They were alone in the Middies Berth; Thockmorton was on first watch and Peter Crittenden was strangely absent. Riley didn't want to speculate about where he might be.

"So did you really do it Jonathan?" Pip asked, his eyes wide with curiosity. The squeaking sounds of their hammocks as they swayed filled the darkness.

"Yes, I did it, Pip."

With all the inquisitiveness of his fourteen years Moseby continued. "And was it good Jonathan? Was it?"

Riley weighed his answer for a moment and remembered what Archie had said long ago.

"It was good, Pip, but I think it would have been better with someone I cared for."

"I don't understand Jonathan, What do you mean?" Pip asked.

"Well, it felt good, in a purely physical way...but it didn't mean anything. Do you see?"

"No," Pip replied then asked eagerly, "Did you see her naked and did she touch your thing?"

Bloody hell...where was Lionel when you needed him. Riley tried again. "Do you ever read poetry Pip? Poetry about love?"

"No, but I did read Gulliver's Travels." Moseby replied enthusiastically.

Riley tried another tack. "Well...what's your favourite food?"

"Ohh...that's easy, bread and jam, I love bread and jam."

"Right, well, it's like being giving fruit cake when you would rather have bread and jam. You like fruit cake, it's sweet and it's tasty but it's not bread and jam."

"Hmm yes, I think I see. But if you ate enough fruit cake you wouldn't feel hungry any more so it wouldn't really matter would it?"

Riley rubbed his face and rolled over in his hammock. "Go to sleep Pip, you're too young to understand."

"Hmmph, that's what everyone says. I'm too young!" The young midshipman snuffled in the darkness bringing to mind Riley's own experiences at that age. He thought again about how Archie would comfort him at night in his hammock. Perhaps it hadn't been that uncomfortable for Archie after all. He thought of how they had lain side by side in the tiny hammock; Archie telling him bedtime stories as one would a child.

Was that it? Did Archie think of him as a child? Did Archie STILL think of him that way? Was that why he had turned to Peter Crittenden? That thought brought with it images of Archie and Crittenden alone even now in Archie's small cabin, locked together in a passionate embrace, their naked bodies glistening with sweat, their hands and mouths...

Riley rolled over in his hammock again with a slight groan. He thought about what he had done last night although he could not bring to mind the girl's face no matter how hard he tried. It was the feelings he concentrated on, the sensations that she had coaxed from his body with her hands and mouth. His own hands sought out his need and he gave in to his feelings, imagining Archie again, Archie's hands on him, Archie's mouth kissing him...

"Christ Jonathan, didn't you get enough of it last night?"

Peter Crittenden's voice brought Riley back to reality like a splash of cold water. He opened his eyes and tried to calm his breathing. Crittenden was undressing by his bunk, nothing more than a shadow laughing in the darkness.

"Obviously not Peter," Riley replied angrily not seeing the humour in his current predicament. He was tired of being the butt of everyone's jokes. The darkness gave him courage and he continued. "But then, perhaps I'm not the only one. Were you after a bit more too, just now Peter?" By the movement he knew that Crittenden had spun to face him, no doubt surprised by his unexpected retort.

"What is that supposed to imply, Jonathan?" Crittenden asked angrily.

Riley turned away onto his side trying to imagine Crittenden's face. Would he be worried or angry? He didn't answer, letting the tension build in the darkness.  

It was Moseby who finally broke the awkward silence; his small high voice squeaking out indignantly.

"I don't know what you two are so bloody angry about. I didn't get ANY at ALL!"    

Part 4

"YES!" The shout was loud enough to be heard all over the ship, Jonathan Riley concluded as he approached the Middies Berth hesitantly.

"Oh Archie, I knew you could do it!" That last remark was from Peter Crittenden; once again loud enough to be heard on deck.

"Well they sound extremely pleased about something," Lionel Thockmorton added helpfully as he pushed open the cabin door and entered without reservation. Jonathan followed along behind.

In the middle of the cabin stood Kennedy and Crittenden, arms around each other grinning wildly.

"So which one of you just inherited a title and a fortune?" Thockmorton asked. Riley suspected he was half serious.

"I passed the exam, Lionel." Archie said proudly as he let go his hold on Crittenden and straightened his blue jacket. "I'm finally a Lieutenant!"

Riley knew he should be pleased, but all he could think of was the fact that Archie would be leaving. However he joined Thockmorton in expressing his congratulations and shook Archie's hand. When Archie would have let go Riley held on a moment longer.

"I'll be sorry to see you go Archie," he said solemnly, squeezing Archie's hand slightly to try and make his point.

Archie smiled. "I've not yet been assigned to my new ship Jonathan, so I have a few more days." He squeezed Jonathan's hand in reply. "I'll miss you too." But then Archie raised his eyes and looked around the room, breaking the moment of intimacy. "I'll miss all of you. This ship has been my home and you are like my family."

A few more days, the words hung in the air like a dirge. A few more days and Archie would leave, maybe never to be seen again. A slow despair began creeping up his spine as Jonathan let the words sink in. There was still so much that he didn't understand, so much that he wanted to understand. I'll have to tell him before he goes, Riley thought in desperation. I'll have to tell him that I...ask him if he might... Vivid scenes flooded Riley's mind, scenes of himself and Archie saying their goodbyes. He was acutely aware of the hot blush that suddenly coloured his fair skin. It was not his only embarrassment.

"I've forgotten something on deck." Jonathan muttered hastily. "I have to go."

Once on deck, the gentle breeze brought a welcome relief and cooled Riley's fevered imagination, but did not lessen his desire to find time alone with Archie before his departure.

Was it wrong to want this so much, Riley wondered? Certainly the Articles of War were quite clear on the matter. But if it was wrong why did it bring such happiness to Archie and Peter? Perhaps there was more to it than what Beddows had described in lurid detail. Perhaps there were other things, other pleasures? But how was he to find out? How was he to approach Archie when he really had no idea of what he actually wanted? Well, that was only half true, for he knew he wanted to be alone with Archie, to share his company, to lay beside him again. Perhaps if he managed that then the rest would follow on quite naturally like it had with the girl. The greatest difficulty would be getting Archie alone where they would not be disturbed. As he stood gazing towards the town that lay basking in the summer sun, Riley began to make his plans. He was so deeply lost in thought that he didn't hear the quiet steps of the Captain until the older man cleared his throat. Riley snapped to attention.

"At ease, Mr Riley." Pellew began formally. He cleared his throat again before continuing. "I trust you had a pleasant...shore leave...this time Mr Riley?"

Riley blinked, surprised by the Captain's uncharacteristic interest. "Yes Sir." Riley replied with embarrassment, not meeting Pellew's eyes.

"I trust that it was...instructional?"

Surely the Captain didn't want to know about his brothel visit too. The blush Riley had tried so hard to banish resurfaced. "Yes, Sir, thank you sir."

Pellew fidgeted slightly and Riley belatedly realised that his Captain was not entirely at ease with the conversation either.

"As an old friend of your father's, Mr Riley, I want you to know that ... hmm .. should you ever need ... advice .. on ...anything, instructional or otherwise ... you may always come to me... hrmmph."

Riley stared at the dazzling water. What he MOST needed advice, how to seduce Archie Kennedy, was hardly something he could ask Captain Pellew. "Thank you Sir," he murmured.

But Pellew next words cut to Riley's heart. "Your father would be very proud of you Mr Riley!"

Riley closed his eyes in shame.  

Part 5

An opportunity presented itself a few hours before dawn the following morning. Jonathan awoke as Peter Crittenden was quietly dressing to take his place on the morning watch. That meant that Archie Kennedy would be just finishing the long hours of the middle watch and would most likely make his way to bed for a few hours of precious sleep.

Riley waited until he heard one bell sound then quietly slipped from his hammock and into his shirt and breeches. Silently he made his way through the sleeping ship until he stood nervously outside the door to Archie's small cabin. It took some moments for Archie to answer the hesitant knocks.

"Yes, come in." Archie's voice was heavy with sleep and Jonathan entered to find him sitting up in his cot, rubbing his eyes.

"What's wrong Jonathan?" Archie asked in alarm when he saw who was standing in his cabin.

Jonathan hesitated for a moment, allowing his eyes to slowly travel over the bare flesh of Archie's chest. He steeled his resolve and shut the door firmly.

"Nothing is wrong Archie. I just need to speak with you."

"Can't it wait a few hours Jonathan? I'm very tired." Archie rubbed his eyes again and pushed back his tousled hair.

Jonathan smiled and stepped closer. His eyes travelled down to the puddle of sheet in Archie's lap and he wondered his friend was wearing anything at all.

"It can't wait Archie, I need you!" Jonathan blurted out, moving even closer to the bed.

"Need me? For what? What has happened, Jonathan? You are not making any sense!"

"I need you Archie." Jonathan insisted, "I ...need...you!"

But Archie Kennedy sat blinking, confusion on his face, clearing not understanding Jonathan's request.

"I want you...want you to...you and me Archie." Jonathan tried again. He wished that he knew the right words for it, the words that would make his meaning clear. "I want to do with you, what you do with Peter!"

Those words registered! Registered with all the force of a broadside.

"Jonathan, you don't know what you are saying!" Rather than being pleased, Archie looked horrified.

"Yes I do Archie!" Riley moved closer until he was standing beside the bed. He leaned towards Archie reaching out, wanting nothing more than to touch the tempting array of skin. But before he could complete the gesture, Archie's hands came up to grip his shoulders roughly, holding him at arms length.

"Don't do this Jonathan." The words were low and desperate.

"But I want to Archie." Riley exclaimed as he struggled in the firm grasp. "Don't you like me Archie?"

"Of course I like you Jonathan. We are friends but that is all. You are too young to know what you are asking."

Archie's perception of him felt like a slap. "You think I'm still a child, don't you Archie?" Jonathan retorted, anger in his voice. "Well I'm not!" Jonathan drew back and Archie released his shoulders.

"I'm old enough to risk my life every time I climb into the rigging. I was old enough to kill a man by stabbing him through the chest with my cutlass the last time we fought. I was old enough to visit a brothel in Gibraltar and risk catching the pox. I certainly think I'm old enough for this Archie!"

A look of indecision appeared in Archie's eyes as the words registered. Before Archie could react, Jonathan leaned in quickly again, placing his hands on Archie's chest and pushing with all his weight. He had the advantage of speed and position. This time Archie was forced backwards onto the thin mattress. Quickly Jonathan swung one knee up and straddled Archie in a bizarre parody of a wrestling hold.

They struggled for a moment until Riley managed to lean in and kiss Archie. Their lips touched, briefly but firmly, before Archie turned his head away.

"For God's sake, Mr Riley, leave off. That's an order."

Riley sat back, shocked by the vehemence in Archie's voice. They stared at each other, chests heaving from their struggle, eyes locked. A sharp rapping on the door broke them apart.

"Is all well Mr Kennedy?" Lieutenant Overton's curt inquiry sent Jonathan scrambling backwards, almost slipping onto the floor. Archie leapt from the cot and scurried for his clothes with a muffled curse.

"For God's sake tidy yourself!" Archie hissed to Jonathan as he pulled on his breeches. He opened the door.

"Yes thank you Mr Overton. Mr Riley and I were just having a difference of opinion about a question that was on the Lieutenants exam that I sat."

Overton's steady gaze raked over the two men and their casual state of dress, then flicked to the rumpled cot behind them.

"Perhaps it would be better to discuss such things at a more reasonable hour Mr Kennedy?" He looked back at Riley. "If Mr Riley is so keen that he feels the need to study in the middle of the night I will see that Mr Bowles sets him extra work to keep him occupied. Off to your Berth, Mr Riley!"

"Yes sir and thank you Mr Kennedy, I am sorry I disturbed you." Riley fled the small room, his face the colour of fire.  

Part 6  

"Pip, go up on deck for a while. Jonathan and I need to sort something out." Peter Crittenden said fiercely as he strode into the Middies berth. He waited until the younger boy had left before fixing Riley with an angry look.

"Just what sort of a game do you think you are playing Jonathan?"

"How did you find out Peter?" Jonathan asked warily. Crittenden had only just finished his watch. "Did Archie tell you?"

"Of course he told me. He had to explain the reasons why I couldn't sit in his cabin for a quiet chat just now. It's all your fault!" Crittenden's voice accused. "Overton is watching him like a hawk!"

"A chat?" Riley asked, defensively. He suspected that what Peter had planned was probably far more damning. "Really Peter, you don't expect me to believe that do you? I'm not a fool you know."

"I think that may be a matter of opinion, Jonathan. From what Archie told me, your behaviour last night was certainly foolish." The words stung almost as much as Crittenden's piercing look. "What exactly did you have in mind Jonathan? What game were you playing at?"

"It's not a game! I'm not a child!" Riley spat back.

"Well then stop acting like one!" Crittenden retorted.

"You don't understand." Jonathan continued, walking across to confront Crittenden face to face. They were of the same height although Crittenden was almost four years older. Jonathan smiled when he realised that before long he would surpass the older man in height and strength. Already it showed in the breath of his shoulders and the strength of his forearm. That knowledge brought with it a false sense of superiority. Recklessly he continued. "Archie was my friend long before he ever looked at you. I want him and I know he wants me. You're just jealous, that's all."

"Why you little bastard. How dare you say such a thing. You have no idea what you are talking about." Crittenden clearly hadn't expected the reply.

"Oh yes I do. I can make him happy, I can give him whatever it is you give him...you'll see."

Crittenden snorted, his anger suddenly giving way to mirth. "Jonathan, you wouldn't know what to do with a prick if it wasn't your own. You're a little boy!" he taunted.

The punch surprised them both, Jonathan even more so than Peter. Something snapped inside Riley and before he even realised what had happened, his fist connected with Peter's forehead sending the older Middie stumbling backwards into the bulkhead. For a moment they stared at each other, shock on their faces as a slow trickle of blood seeped down from Peter's eyebrow. Then Crittenden sprang back, his own blow hitting Riley full in the mouth. Blood splattered everywhere.

They fell to the ground in a grapple of arms and legs, their blows now mostly ineffectual as they scrambled together, each trying to gain a better hold.

"What on earth are you doing?" The exclamation barely registered.

"On your feet, both of you. That's an order!"

Archie Kennedy gripped the two midshipmen by their jackets and hauled them apart. They stood panting, bruised and bleeding, eyes downcast.

"What are you both doing?" Archie asked again in disbelief.

"A small difference of opinion Archie," Crittenden said as he wiped the blood from the cut above his eye. "It's not important."

"Not important? Two midshipmen, brawling below decks is not important? I think you are mistaken Mr Crittenden!"

Archie stared at them both, such deep disappointment in his eyes, that Jonathan forgot the pain of his mouth and the blood dripping down his chin.

"I'm sorry...Sir" he stuttered out between his split lips.

"Both of you report to Mr Hepplewhite and when he has finished with you, you can spend the rest of the watch at the cross trees of the main and fore masts."

"Aye aye sir" They replied in unison.

"What seems to be the problem here Mr Kennedy?" Lieutenant Overton's voice made them all look towards the doorway. They had not heard his soft approach.

"There is no problem Sir, I have dealt with the breech of conduct and punishment has been given." Archie said formally.

Overton smiled but it was not a warming gesture. "I think you are too lenient with your punishment Mr Kennedy." From his words it was clear he had overheard everything. "When I was on the 'Valkyrie', midshipmen such as these would have been made to kiss the gunner's daughter. Twenty of the best! I would have administered them myself!" His pale eyes darted from Riley to Crittenden and back again, before settling once more on Archie. "But Captain Pellew doesn't hold with caning the Midshipmen and so we have incidents like this!"

Overton jerked his head towards the door. "Off to the cross trees with you, NOW and stay up there until I call you down."

"But sir, their injuries? Shouldn't they be treated first?" Archie asked defiantly.

"You do more harm than good if you mollycoddle them, Mr Kennedy. I know it is but days since you were one yourself, but THEY are midshipmen and YOU are an Officer. Try to remember it!"    

Part 7

Time passed slowly. For the first hour Jonathan sat brooding, his bloodied mouth painful. His anger towards Crittenden and Overton seethed as he saw them as the two men responsible for his current predicament. By the second hour his anger had cooled and he remembered the look of disappointment on Archie's face. What must Archie think of him? Jonathan slipped into a dark mood of self-recrimination and regret.

At four bells in the Forenoon Watch Jonathan saw Captain Pellew board his gig and go ashore. There were still two hours to go before noon. Already Riley could feel the sun burning his fair skin. A new concern began to worry at his mind. Earlier he had hoped that Captain Pellew, upon learning of their plight, might make a show of leniency and order them down before noon. But with the Captain's departure Riley bid farewell to his last chance of salvation. He wondered briefly if the Captain even knew that he and Crittenden were up there. Most probably he did not, as Captain Pellew was rarely a vicious man.

Riley looked behind to the Main Mast where Peter Crittenden was also perched on the small platform at the crosstrees. He too seemed to be watching the Captain's departing gig.

With a wince, Riley licked at his cut lips and buried his face into his sleeve in the hope of protecting it from the sun.

By noon, Riley's uniform was drenched in sweat and the top of his head felt like it was on fire. His mouth was dry. His broken lips had opened up again and were weeping watery blood. In a vain effort to keep cool, he tugged opened his blue jacket and loosened his shirt. For once he would have been glad of the silly hat he was required to wear, but hats were not worn when one went aloft. Surely they will call us down soon, he thought despairingly.

But the sun was low in the west before a gentle hand upon his sleeve roused him from his stupor.

"Come on Mr Riley, Sir. It's time to come down."

Riley blinked up at the seaman whose face swam before him, trying to connect face to a name. He failed.

"Are you all right Sir?" The voice was full of concern.

As he tried to move, Riley felt his head spin and he gripped the seaman's arm tightly. For a moment he wondered where he was and why his head ached so badly and his face hurt so much.

"Easy does it Sir, let me help you. We have a long climb." The seaman clasped a strong arm around Riley and slowly they began to descend.

It seemed to take forever, the climb having a dreamlike quality. When Riley finally stood upon the deck once more he thought he was still aloft and that the Captain and Archie Kennedy staring at him in grave concern were mere figments of his fevered imagination.

"Are you all right Mr Riley?" The Captain's voice broke through the haze surrounding him. Riley began to shiver uncontrollably.

"I'm so cold Sir," he stuttered out. As he spoke, his lips began to bleed again but when he tried to lick them to ease the pain he discovered that his mouth was too dry.

"Was this your order Mr Kennedy?" Pellew asked, unable to disguise his anger.

"No Sir, Mr Overton ordered the extended time aloft. He said I had been too lenient."

Riley swayed on his feet and someone slipped an arm around him again to stop him falling over.

"See that they are both taken to Mr Hepplewhite at once. Mr Riley appears to have a case of sunstroke."

Belatedly, Jonathan thought of Peter Crittenden and opened his stinging eyes to look around. Crittenden stood not far away, his face burnt, his lips cracked, his face expressionless.

"I'm sorry," was all Riley managed to whisper before loosing consciousness.    

Part 8

Jonathan Riley was drowning. He was cold and drowning and knew he would die soon. He struggled to get his head clear of the treacherous water. There was something he had to do before he died. Someone he had to speak to. "Archie!" he called frantically.

"Yer got to drink it Sir." A voice beside him insisted. "Yer all dried up and yer got to get some water into yer!"

A cool cloth was placed on his forehead and he commenced shivering again.

"Archie!" Jonathan called again, suddenly afraid. Was he dead already? Were they washing his body for burial?

"Shhh, now Sir. Yer all right. Drink up." More water sloshed into his mouth making him gag and choke. Riley lashed out with his arms and legs and suddenly realised he was naked and wrapped only in a light sheet. Was it his burial shroud?

He forced his eyes open and stared up at the startled face of a lob lolly boy who had moved back from his flailing limbs.

"Easy now Sir, go easy there. Yer all right."

Slowly reality surfaced again. The Indefatigable, he was in the infirmary of the ship after spending the day in the sun.

"Yes, I know," Riley murmured trying to marshal his thoughts and show the worried boy that he was once more in command of his senses.

Slowly a new sensation registered. The ship was under weigh once more!

"Oh," Jonathan groaned aloud as he realised what this would mean. Archie! Archie was gone!

Jonathan closed his eyes and sobbed, wanting to cry, but having no tears left. His eyes stung, his mouth ached, his head throbbed, and now, his heart felt like it was falling apart.

Archie was lost to him, lost aboard his new ship and Jonathan would never have the chance now to apologise for his foolishness. Forever Archie would remember him as a foolish boy and never know his true feelings.

"Come on Sir, have some water."

But Jonathan turned his face away. He might as well die.  

Part 9

It was as if he was caught in a strange half waking dream. Time seemed to slip and slide around him. Voices and faces came and went as he hovered in and out of consciousness, hot one moment, cold the next.

It was Archie's voice that he heard when he awoke clear headed for the first time.

"I am so sorry, I feel responsible for this."

Jonathan opened his eyes but the room was deep in darkness, no candle burning. Before he could reply, another voice answered the question.

"I'm all right Archie. Just a little sunburnt."

"Oh Peter, I was so worried about you up there. I simply didn't know what to do." A breathy sound filled the darkness with untold images. Jonathan held his breath.

"It was my own fault Archie" Peter Crittenden continued, his voice little more than a whisper. "I should have had more sense than to let bloody Jonathan goad me like that."

"He's just a boy Peter. He doesn't understand how dangerous things can be." Archie placated.

Crittenden's snort of contempt was quite audible. "He a bloody little fool, is what he IS Archie!"

"Peter don't be so hard on him. Surely you remember what it was like at that age, what you felt for Harry."

There was more rustling before Crittenden continued his voice now very gentle.

"Yes, I couldn't get enough of him. Was it the same for you?"

Jonathan stared into the darkness. Why was Archie still on board and what were he and Peter doing? Riley lay still, wishing he could turn his head, wanting to know more but suddenly afraid that they would stop talking and find him awake.

"Hmm not really. Anything physical was the last thing on my mind back then. But I was attracted to Horatio in a way I couldn't understand. I'd lay awake at night watching him sleep in his hammock beside me."

Horatio??? Mr Hornblower??? Perhaps I am still delirious, Jonathan wondered. Archie and Lieutenant Hornblower? Had he been blind to this as well? But perhaps Archie's affections been as one sided as Riley's own? He listened attentively to find out more.

"Ahh and therein lies the difference Archie." Crittenden continued, his voice once more serious. "We were all Middies back then and more often than not the Officers would turn a blind eye. You are a lieutenant now, with a position to maintain. Overton is going to be watching us all the more closely now, but especially he'll be watching you!

"We will have to be careful, Peter. Very careful." More of those breathing sound, which Riley decided must be the two men kissing. The thought made his heart race.

"Oh Archie, the risk is too great now. I won't let you jeopardise your Lieutenancy. It's taken you so long to achieve and I know how important it is to you." Peter's voice took on a sadder note. "It's not as if you really love me Archie. We're friends, close friends, but I won't let you risk your career for me."

"Peter.."

"No, listen to me Archie. You know I'm right. We will just have to wait until our next shore leave to....be together. Do you understand?"

"Peter you are far more practical, than I am! I should be the one saying this and yet all I can think about is the fact that I don't want to give you up."

"You won't be giving me up Arch, it will just mean waiting and it will make each shore leave all the more enjoyable."

They both laughed gently in the darkness, but Archie's tone grew serious once more.

"You're wrong about one thing, though Peter. I do love you."

"I know you do Archie and I love you too. But I also know that it's not the same...not the same as the way I loved Harry or you love Horatio."

"Peter.." Archie's voice was a desperate whisper.

"Shh now Arch, go on...it has to be this way. You know it."

There was an easing of timbers as Archie stood up.

"I'll see you tomorrow then, Peter. Get some sleep."

"Yes, Goodnight Archie."

But Peter Crittenden lay awake for a long time after Archie Kennedy had left and Jonathan listened to the faint muffled sobs that did not stop until the older Middie had fallen into an exhausted sleep.          

Part 10.    

Peter Crittenden's bed in the infirmary was empty when Jonathan awoke the next morning. The surgeon's mate, who had come to bathe Riley's face in saltwater, answered his question.

"Mr Crittenden's back on duty. He's isn't half as bad as you are. You looked like a well cooked lobster when they brought you down. Your face is going to peel something terrible. You should see the blisters!" Riley hardly needed to be told. He could feel the tightness of the skin on his face every time he moved. His lips were crusted and repeatedly split when he tried to drink.

"When can I go back to duty?" Riley asked half-heartedly.

"Not until Dr Hepplewhite gives the order."

Jonathan idled away the morning deep in thought. He knew he would have to face Archie soon and wondered what he should say. Briefly he wondered why Archie hadn't been to see him, but decided that would hardly be advisable. Besides, Archie had duties to perform.

He thought long and hard about what Peter had sacrificed last night. It made Jonathan's own foolish actions seem even more childish. How could he have thrown himself at Archie like that? What must he have thought? He shivered as he suddenly recalled what Archie had experienced in the past. Dear God, how could he have been so thoughtless!

Thoughtless, or thinking of himself? All along he had only considered his OWN wants, never Archie's. I AM a child, Jonathan decided; children think only of themselves. Again he thought of Peter Crittenden's actions last night. Perhaps that's what I need to do too? If I love Archie then I should let him go.

Love. The word seemed to revibrate in the air around him. Love.

Was that what he felt for Archie? Until now he hadn't put a name the feeling. He wanted Archie; he certainly cared for him. But was that love?

Jonathan thought again about what he had overheard last night. He thought again of Peter's sacrifice; that he would put Archie's well being ahead of his own wants. Perhaps that was what love was all about, putting the other person first?

If so, then Jonathan had fallen far short of the mark. It was a sobering realisation.

But perhaps all was not lost. By some twist of providence Archie was still on board and there was a chance that somehow Jonathan could put everything to rights.

If only I had a friend to talk to, Jonathan thought to himself sadly.      

At the start of the Afternoon watch, Lionel Thockmorton poked his head into the infirmary.

"My goodness young Jonathan, you look a little the worse for wear!"

"Oh Lionel" Jonathan sighed, grateful to see a friendly face.

"Had a bit of a spat with Peter, did you?" Lionel asked gently.

Jonathan dropped his head. "Something like that. I did something very stupid. Several things to be precise."

Lionel perched his lankly frame on the end of the cot and nodded. "We all do such things from time to time Jonathan. It's a part of growing up."

"Lionel, why is Mr Kennedy still on board?" The question had been puzzling Jonathan all morning.

"Ah, he's been assigned to the Indy." Lionel began knowingly. He leaned forward and whispered, "Rumour has it that the Captain asked for him personally."

"At least I'll have a chance to apologise to him then. I was so worried he'd leave before I could say anything." Jonathan hesitated a moment, silently weighing up the man in front of him. He was desperate for someone to talk to, someone to confide in. He felt very much alone.

"Lionel, what do you know about men?"

Thockmorton raised his eyebrows. "Men?"

"Yes Men. Men who...who..like... who prefer..." Jonathan stumbled over the words, trying to explain.

"Men who prefer the 'Windward Passage'?" Lionel asked, one eyebrow raised.

The term took Jonathan by surprise, but he knew what Lionel meant.

"Yes," he replied softly.

"Errr..well...I've heard it's all to do with breaching one another's fundament ... at least that's what I've been told!" Lionel blushed and began dusting at something imaginary on his coat sleeve.

"Oh yes, I've heard about that part" Jonathan pressed on. Having come this far he wasn't prepared to back down now. "I wondered if there was more?"

"More? Good gracious..I...er.." Thockmorton resembled a landed fish as he opened and closed his mouth a few times, clearly at a loss for words.

Jonathan smiled, it was not often that Lionel was left speechless. He tired another tack.

"Have you ever met anyone like that Lionel?"

Thockmorton was silent for a moment. "On my last ship, the Neptune, a first rate ship of the line," Lionel injected proudly, "there was a Lieutenant. An average sort of man, quiet, polite, never unfair in his dealings with the ratings, nor was he overly severe in his treatment of the Midshipmen. He never punished our ignorance. Rather, he would make sure we KNEW how to do something before he gave an order. Not all of the Lieutenants were as considerate.

"I respected him and when I could I would seek him out to ask him about navigation or seamanship. He was always obliging and took the time to answer my questions.

"Eventually we were assigned to a prize ship together. One night we were dining in his cabin as was the custom, we being the only Officers aboard. We'd been drinking a little too much I think, and I was talking about women saying something foolish about how much I missed their touch.

"Well of a sudden, he looked at me, straight into my eyes, and offered...offered to..well he offered to see to my needs.

"I was shocked speechless. He saw at once that he had been mistaken and we both started babbling. I apologised for giving him the wrong impression, he apologised for being forward. But the damage was done.

"I left quickly, but what dismayed me most was the real fear I saw in his eyes. He was afraid of me! Afraid I would tell someone or speak of what had happened. We rarely spoke to each other after that night. He avoided me, never looked me in the eye again."

Lionel's face showed deep remorse. "He was a good Officer and a kind man, but he lived in fear."

"Oh Lionel," Jonathan said sympathetically.

Thockmorton straightened, shaking off his glum mood. "Of course I have heard tales of other men. Those who were not so kind or who used their authority to force or coerce.." Lionel stopped suddenly, his eyes concerned.

"Jonathan," he began softly, "Your argument with Peter wasn't because he.."

"Oh no! Nothing like that Lionel." Jonathan hastened to confirm.

Thockmorton looked relieved. "Well it will all blow over Jonathan. These things always do."

"I doubt he will ever speak to me again," Jonathan said glumly.

"Who Peter? Of course he will!"

"NO, Archie! Mr Kennedy! I think I may have got him into trouble with Mr Overton and I've already caused enough trouble between him and Peter."

"Mr Overton and Peter?" Thockmorton asked, trying to keep up.

"No Peter and Archie...you see I went to Archie's quarters the other night."

"You did?" Lionel prompted, his eyes growing as big as saucers.

"Yes, and I told him... told him that I...wanted him!"

"YOU WANTED HIM?" Lionel clapped his hand across his mouth when he realised he had shouted.

"Yes," Jonathan admitted, "And he didn't take it very well."

Eyes rolling, head shaking, Lionel Thockmorton suddenly looked like a sea lion doing a mating dance. "Im not surprised! Where on earth did you get the idea that Archie ...er...Mr Kennedy was ..er...that way inclined?"

Before Jonathan could reply, Lionel stood and started pacing. "Really Jonathan" he lectured, "You should have known better. I mean after his marathon effort in Gibraltar, it's very obvious that our Mr Kennedy is a first class rake!"

Jonathan shook his head and tried not to laugh.

"Oh Lionel, he spent the night with Peter!"

"What?" Thockmorton stopped his pacing and stared.

"They are lovers, Lionel. They..."

"My God!" Lionel sat down heavily on the end of the cot again. "I wonder if Harry ever realised when he was alive?" he asked shaking his head again.

"Harry was a part of it Lionel." Jonathan said hesitantly. Belatedly he wondered if perhaps he had said too much. This wasn't going the way he had envisaged.

"You mean the three of them?" Lionel asked in horror. "At the same time? My god!"

"No Lionel, you have it all wrong." Jonathan put his head in his hands and softly commenced to cry. "O Lionel, I love him, I want him and I don't know what to do."

"Here now Jonathan, no need for tears." Lionel patted the shaking shoulder. Gone were all signs of shock at the revelation, replaced by gentle caring. "We'll work something out."

"But Archie thinks I'm a child. He'll never look at me now."

"Do not despair, young Jonathan!" Lionel said brightly. "Help is at hand! I have personally wooed many a young woman and am only too happy to pass along some of the finer points to you!"

Jonathan wiped the tears from his sore eyes. He couldn't help but smile when he saw the eager look on Thockmorton's face.

"Thank you Lionel, you're a good friend. Do you really mean it?"

"Of course I do!" Thockmorton declared and as if to prove his support he immediately started making plans. "The first thing you need to do is catch his eye!"

"How?" Jonathan asked eagerly.

"Well, if I was trying to catch a woman's eye I would act very gallant, compliment her gown and maybe quote a little poetry." Jonathan frowned doubtfully. None of those options seemed quite appropriate for Archie.

"However," Thockmorton continued, his brow furrowed in concentration, "Archie is not a woman.." He rubbed his brow for a moment. "If a woman wanted to catch MY attention, she would wear a low cut gown to show off her...er...neck and flutter her eyes at me."

"You think I should wear a dress?" Jonathan asked more than a little shocked by the suggestion.

"No NO.." Lionel continued impatiently, "I am merely trying to point out that men are visual creature. We LOOK!"

Jonathan nodded, happy to rely on Lionel's wealth of experience. "So what will Archie be looking at?" he asked hopefully.

"Ahem," Lionel began a little uncomfortably. "As I am not in the habit of looking at men, I was hoping you would know! What do you look at in men?"

Jonathan blushed. He'd never really thought about it before. "Er well, I haven't really looked at many." He imagined Archie and tried to work out what he liked about him. "Archie has lovely shoulders, broad and strong." He remembered what he had seen in Archie quarters two nights ago. "His chest is very smooth, I wanted to touch that. And when he leapt out of bed to pull his breeches on I got a quick look at his.."

"I think I am getting the picture thank you Jonathan." Lionel interrupted. "You like to look at his body," He tugged at the collar of his shirt as if it had suddenly become uncomfortable. "Particularly when it is, ahem, unclothed."

"Oh yes!" Jonathan hastily confirmed.

"Well we are heading back to the Atlantic, the weather will stay warm and I dare say the Captain will allow a bit of swimming from time to time." Lionel raised his eyebrows and tilted his head, hoping Jonathan would follow through with the train of thought.

"But I can't swim!" Jonathan said sadly.

"Well learn Jonathan! Or else try drowning and hope that Archie might dive in and save you."

"Maybe I could drown whilst wearing a dress? Do you think that might work?"

"Only if it's an off the shoulder gown, Jonathan. Be daring!"

They both dissolved into splutters of laughter, until Jonathan wiped his eyes and licked at his swollen lips.

"But then when I get him I STILL won't know what to do, Lionel"

"Ahh! That was where all those questions were leading to, was it? What to DO? What ELSE to do?"

Jonathan nodded and dropped his eyes again.

Lionel cleared his throat. "I had a woman in Venice once. I was on leave with my father and my older brother, The Viscount. We visited this rather spectacular brothel and the woman there used her..." Lionel blinked a moment. "She used her mouth!"

"Her mouth?" Jonathan asked "How?"

Lionel blushed, "On me, er on my, that is to say she used it on my..er.." He waved his hand around in the vicinity of his lap.

"Oh on that? Really? What did she do?"

"Gracious Jonathan, I am NOT going to show you! Enough to say she made me feel like a luscious piece of fruit, a ripe juicy orange." Lionel squirmed at the memories.

"And you think men could do that with each other?" Jonathan asked, hoping he had understood the story correctly.

"Well yes, I don't see why not?" Lionel tugged at his collar again.

"But does it have to be an orange Lionel? I would have thought a banana would be closer to..."

"I think that would depend on the man, young Jonathan!" Lionel said with a wink.

They both burst into peels of laughter again which Jonathan was sure must have been heard throughout the ship. As the hilarity died away, Jonathan sat up, all trace of mirth gone from his face.

"But seriously Lionel, Archie thinks I am a child! What should I do?"

Lionel levelled his gaze and answered quietly. "Show him you are a man Jonathan. Show him that you are serious about your career. Concentrate on doing your duty, and then do a little more. There is always someone around who would be happy for some help and in return you may learn something useful. Talk to the mates, the bosun's mate, the gunner's mate, the master's mate. They are a wealth of information Jonathan." Lionel cocked his head and leaned closer. "If you ever repeat this to anyone, young Jonathan, I will completely disavow it, but I do not intend to fail the Lieutenants exam! Nor do I intend to rely on patronage from my father's friends. Beneath this flippant exterior is a dedicated Officer Jonathan, and I want to do the best I can in the service of my King and country! I spend my time in conversation, but I learn a lot whilst I am doing so. You can do the same Jonathan!"

"Thank you Lionel. You are a good friend."

"Any time young Jonathan. Oh and one more thing. I'd wait a few weeks before you try to catch Archie's eye." He grimaced. "Your face looks truly frightful."  

Part 11

Despite suffering from painful weeping blisters on his face, Jonathan Riley was discharged the following morning. When he entered the Middie's berth Jonathan was confronted by a strange boy; a new midshipman of about 13. The boy stared at him, his mouth open, then fled the small cabin, clearly afraid.

"That's just Witherspoon," Lionel explained later when he sauntered in. "Pip's been telling him tales of your fight with Peter. It didn't help matters when Peter growled at the lad last night when he spilt his grog everywhere. Poor boy probably thinks you are both young hellions."

Jonathan smiled. It seemed like only yesterday that he had been in the same position as Witherspoon and Archie Kennedy had befriended him. That thought brought back the shame of his earlier actions.

There was one thing he would have to do, Jonathan told himself as he straightened his uniform. One thing he couldn't put off, no matter how painful it was. Riley made his way to the quarterdeck and was quietly thankful when he found Archie Kennedy alone. Had the captain been on deck, Jonathan knew his courage would have faltered. He walked briskly from the top of the companion way and stood to attention.

Archie had been staring out to sea at the taffrail but turned when he heard the quiet footsteps.

"Yes Mr Riley?" Archie inquired, face neutral.

"Sir I have come to apologise for my conduct of late and to let you know that it will not happen again."

Archie licked his lips as he carefully chose his words. "Very well, Mr Riley, all is forgiven and forgotten."

"Thank you Sir." Jonathan replied formally and waited for dismissal, but Archie remained silent, studying the young midshipman.

"How are you now Jonathan? You were quite ill. I came to see you several times but you were delirious." Gone was the official tone, replaced by the gentle voice Jonathan had grown to love.

"I'm fine Sir," Jonathan replied, too ashamed to meet the blue eyes. "Thank you for your concern."

"Jonathan I..." Archie began, his voice very quiet. "I do not think it would be wise for us to.."

"I understand, Mr Kennedy." Jonathan interrupted, hoping to spare them both any further discomfort.

"It's for the best Jonathan," Archie turned away and stared at the water again. "I AM sorry. Dismissed."

For the best! The words kept repeating themselves in Jonathan's head as he suffered through his watch that afternoon. But he knew Archie was right. It was best to put some distance between them for a while until things died down and they both had time to think. If he could show Archie that he had self-discipline and maturity, perhaps Archie would look at him differently.

That evening at supper Riley came face to face with Peter Crittenden in the Middies berth. They stared at each other long and silent, until even Moseby and Witherspoon became aware of the uneasiness and ceased their chattering. Everyone in the room held their breath, waiting for someone to break the stalemate.

Jonathan weighed his next move before speaking. "I'm sorry Peter. I owe you an apology." Jonathan managed to get out although they were the last words he wanted to say. He still saw Crittenden as his rival, but if he was to convince anyone that he was no longer a child, he might as well start with Peter Crittenden.

"Apology accepted Jonathan. Perhaps we can forget the whole thing ever happened."

The words made Jonathan bristle. Was Crittenden implying he should forget about his attraction to Archie?" Jonathan took a mouthful of his grog and swallowed it slowly.

"Yes, perhaps both of us should forget about it."

Something flashed in Crittenden's green eyes, but before either young man could speak again Lionel Thockmorton commenced one of his infamous tales. This one was about a one armed whore he had met in Cape Town who could open the buttons on a man's breeches with just her teeth.    

Part 12

When had he become so immune to bloodshed? Jonathan watched dispassionately as the mangled remains of the gunner were pulled out of the way and thrown overboard. "Get some more sand on the deck here!" he ordered, as he picked up the spike that the dead man had held and pushed it down the touch hole of the cannon to break the powder bag. Jonathan worked without thinking. In the last two months he had learned much about ordinances and gunnery. He was able to step in without hesitation and take the place of the dead man in the gun crew so that when the order came to fire, the great gun sounded in unison with it's companions.

Further down the deck, Charlie Witherspoon was sobbing by the foremast. "Come on Mr Witherspoon, look to your men." Jonathan called, trying to steady the boy. "The next one will be chain shot, I think. Be ready!"

Jonathan was right. Archie Kennedy, stationed on the main deck, relayed the order and the gun crews went into action once again, loading with chain shot this time as the Indy moved closer to her quarry.

The wounded ship hove into sight through the smoke. An American barque, colours still proudly flying though her sails were ragged. Her main topmast broke under the impact of the chain shot, bringing down the main spar and much of the rigging. The barque slowed and the Indy closed in.

"Prepare to board Mr Riley!" Archie Kennedy shouted as he buckled on a cutlass and checked his pistol. "Mr Witherspoon, you shall remain here with the men of your division to take care of any borders who manage to get past us." Archie looked at Witherspoon's terrified face and then at the men around him. "Matthews will assist you," he said nodding to the old rating who tugged at his forelock in acknowledgment of the order. "Now to your places everyone. The Captain will be watching."

Men rushed to the bulwarks, armed with boarding pikes and axes as the two ships came together. The results of the cannon barrage were clearly visible on the enemy deck. Men lay wounded and dying amid the tangled rigging. Cannons were overturned and a small fire was smouldering but still the Americans fought on.

Brave men, thought Jonathan as he followed Archie and the boarding party into the madness on the enemy deck. Brave men who refused to surrender even in the face of a greater force. They met the foe in a clash of steel on steel. There was little room to move, little time to think, as they hacked and slashed their way towards the quarterdeck. They climbed over wreckage and bodies alike, the smell of blood and gunpowder heavy in the air. On the quarterdeck, the American Captain was still giving orders to his men. He raised his weapon, a large gleaming cutlass and led his remaining Officers to meet the boarders.

"They won't surrender," Jonathan gasped between hard won breaths as he watched the American Captain join the fray, inspiring his men in the face of defeat. They fought like mad men, without thought or care. The crew of the Indy fell back momentarily until Archie rallied them again and pressed on towards the American Captain. Jonathan followed.

He too was caught up in the madness now, his blood singing to a primitive beat, a song of violence as old as man himself. Dirk in one hand, cutlass in the other, Jonathan followed at Archie's shoulder, oblivious to the blood covering his hands and clothes or the fallen bodies beneath his feet. There was a thrill in fighting beside Archie like this, a feeling close to arousal. Somehow they were joined by the blood and the carnage, made one by the killing. Jonathan glanced at Archie, his face aglow with perspiration. Briefly their eyes met and Jonathan discovered that Archie's glowed with the same lust that shone from his own. Jonathan grinned and Archie's answering smile was almost feral.

I would die happy if I could die beside him now, Jonathan though as he ran another man through with his cutlass. There would be an ecstasy in that, a glory higher than any other, to die side by side, his blood mingling with Archie's. United in death as they never could be in life.

Suddenly Archie stood face to face with the American Captain, sparks flying as their swords met. "Surrender Sir, your men die needlessly." Archie pleaded, but his words fell on deaf ears.

Jonathan watched as the American brought up his cutlass once more to slash at Archie. He watched as Archie staggered to fend off the blow, his feet slipping in the blood on the deck. Watched as the American smiled cruelly and raised his sword for the killing blow. But he gasped suddenly, blood spluttering from his mouth and fell down dead; Jonathan's dirk protruding from his chest.

The fight was over.    

Part 13  

It was a prize worth taking. The American barque, the Mistral, held a hidden cargo. Her holds were brimming with casks of fine French brandy that would be worth much in prize money, but her true worth was in the packet of letters from Napoleon to certain American privateers. These would be of great interest to the Admiralty.

There was cheering on the deck that afternoon when Captain Pellew made his announcement to the crew.

"We shall set sail at once for Gibraltar. I shall assign a prize crew to the Mistral and they shall follow in due course when repairs have been completed." Pellew raked his gaze over the men assembled before him.

"Mr Kennedy, as you were instrumental in taking the ship, I will give command to you." Pellew paused again and Jonathan held his breath, hoping, praying that he too would be included in the crew. Pellew eyes finally came to rest on him as if reading his thoughts.

"Mr Riley, you will go with Lieutenant Kennedy. I think the experience may prove valuable for you."

"Thank you Sir." Jonathan murmured, unable to believe his luck.

"Mr Crittenden, I'm assigning you Acting Lieutenant in Mr Kennedy's absence. You'll be sitting your Lieutenants exams soon and I think you too will benefit from the change."

Jonathan caught Peter's glare and quickly looked away. Nothing was going to spoil the moment for him.

"This might be the chance you've been waiting for Jonathan." Lionel Thockmorton whispered in his ear when they were dismissed. Jonathan grinned.

There were major repairs to be carried out on the Mistral before she would be fit to once again sail. Jonathan watched the Indy pull away as he helped replace the main topmast. The Mistral had not been carrying much in the way of spare spars and rigging so supplies had been sent over from the Indy before she left. A small but able crew worked until dark but still the repairs were incomplete.

They ate in Archie's cabin that night, a cold meal of biscuits and cheese. The galley fires had not yet been lit as all hands were busy with the repairs. Strong black coffee would have done much to improve Jonathan's weary state, but all that was to offer was ship's grog, a little stronger than what was usually served up to the midshipmen. The lack of a filling meal and his tiredness only added to the effects of the alcohol. Jonathan soon found he was fighting to keep his eyes open and his head spun in pleasant circles as he gazed across the table at Archie.

Archie seemed lost in his own thoughts. His head resting on his hand as he stared at the single candle that stood on the small table. Although it had belonged to the American Captain, the cabin was by no means luxurious. It held the table where they sat which doubled as a desk, a few chairs, a closet and a narrow bed built into one wall. A row of casement windows adorned the stern, which would give a lovely view of the horizon during the day but now only showed the blackness beyond. It was a small cabin, a fact that only added to the sense of intimacy.

"You saved my life today Jonathan. That's the second time now, you know." Archie had raised his pale blue eyes from the candle and was now looking intently at