Part 24

Jonathan winced when he awoke next morning. He felt strange, very strange. His body still echoed with the sensations of Archie's possession last night and it wasn't entirely pleasant.

"How do you feel?" Archie asked as he came to sit on the bed. He smoothed Jonathan's tangle of curls back with gentle fingers.

"Fine," Jonathan replied with a tight smile.

Archie nodded, his eyes never leaving Jonathan's face as if he was trying to see behind the words.

"I'll send for some water and you can clean up a little. You'll feel better then."

"I'm fine Archie," Jonathan insisted as he swung his legs out of bed. "And I'd much rather spend the day with the scent of you on me." He grinned, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"Jonathan!" Archie exclaimed as he stood up again. "What am I going to do with you!"

After a wash and a hearty breakfast of porridge, eggs, biscuit and strong black coffee, Jonathan did feel a little better. But as he walked the quarterdeck later that morning, his mind was in turmoil. He struggled to understand exactly what had gone wrong last night. He felt a strange reluctance to bring the subject up with Archie again, worried about how the older man would react. That Archie had thought of Simpson and likened himself to that man only added to Jonathan's caution. Archie had never spoken to Jonathan about what had happened to him so many years ago. All Jonathan's knowledge came from Mr Hornblower or others.

Jonathan wondered if Archie had spoken to Peter Crittenden about it? Perhaps he simply thought Jonathan too young to really understand?

A loud cough brought Jonathan out of his reverie.

"Yer don't look so good? What's the matter? 'E dump yer did 'e?"

"And a good morning to you too Mr Kerrison," Jonathan said with a frown. "No, he didn't 'dump' me. Nothing like that at all."

"Well why the long face then? You all right?" There was a genuine concern in Kerrison's voice and Jonathan was touched by the sincerity.

"Yes, I'm all right." Jonathan paused, wanting to say more but unsure. He hardly knew Kerrison, but there was something about the man that Jonathan felt he could trust. He bit his lip and looked around, suddenly worried that they might be overheard. "It didn't go too well last night. We had a bit of trouble."

"Ah, I see." Kerrison replied with a nod. "That why yer walking like yer got a boat hook up yer arse?"

Jonathan's mouth fell open in shock and he felt his face flaming but Kerrison's look was serious, no mirth showing in the hazel eyes.

"No need to be shy about it. It goes on below decks too yer know! There's not much I've not seen or done in my 19 years in the Kings Navy."
 

I'm sure there isn't, Jonathan mentally conceded. "I'll admit I'm in a little discomfit," Jonathan confided. "But it wasn't his fault. He didn't do it intentionally," he added hastily when he saw Kerrison frown. "He doesn't have a lot of experience either you see."

"Oh yeah?" Kerrison looked too interested now. Jonathan frowned in reply.

"So what did 'e use?" Kerrison asked, one eyebrow raised.

"Oh, er, well his fingers first and then his, er.."

"No no! What did 'e grease yer up with?"

"Oh," Jonathan replied, unable to say any more for the moment. But he knew that if he could just overcome his embarrassment at Kerrison's crudity he might actually learn something useful. Jonathan pressed on. "He used spit."

"Spit? Bloody hell. No good using spit to bugger a virgin." Kerrison fixed him in his gaze again and winked wickedly. "That was yer rating, wasn't it."

Perhaps the deck would open up and swallow him and save him from further embarrassment, Jonathan prayed as he tried to answer calmly. "Oh yes. At least it was last night."

Kerrison grinned at his confession, but quickly tried to wipe the smile from his face.

"What yer need is a hunk of lard! That'll do the trick."

"Lard." Jonathan echoed trying to imagine doing THAT with lard.

"Yes, best thing for it. Yer can get some from the cook."

"Good heavens, Kerrison, I can't just stroll into the galley and demand lard!" It would be all around the ship in no time, Jonathan thought to himself.

Kerrison shrugged. "Well tell your Mr Kennedy to go get it then. 'E's the Captain!" Kerrison sauntered away and Jonathan was left once more to contemplate his troubles.

Lard! How on earth was he going to get lard from the galley? Stealing came to mind, but he quickly dismissed that thought. Any form of stealing was strictly prohibited under the Articles of War. But lard was his only option. Perhaps he SHOULD mention it to Archie just to see what he thought about it. He'd mentioned oil, but the only oil that Jonathan knew of on board was that which they used on the cannons. Could you use it on people too?

By the Second Dog Watch, Jonathan had given up all hope of obtaining any lard and had resolved to spend another night of discomfit.

Kerrison arrived early for his watch and drew Jonathan aside to the taffrail.

"'Ere, I got this for yer." He pulled a small muslin bundle out of his pocket and handed it to Jonathan. "Lard!" he added proudly.

Shock was the best description to describe Jonathan's reaction. "Where ever did you get that? You didn't steal it did you Kerrison?"

"I'm offended Mr Riley! Do I look like the kind of lad that goes stealing stuff?" But the glint in Kerrison's hazel eyes suggested amusement more than offence. "Asked the cook for it, I did. Said it was for you."

"You said it was for me?" Jonathan said, his voice rising sharply.

"Yes, I told him that yer needed it for yer 'inges"

"My 'inges?" Jonathan mimicked. Was that what men like Kerrison called it?

"Yes, the 'inges on yer sea chest. Carpenter fixed the lid this morning but the 'inges were all seized up from all that sea water."

"Oh, oh I see." Cautiously, Jonathan took the small bundle of greasy muslin. He held it in his hand, not sure where to put it. He didn't want to place it in his pocket for fear of ruining his jacket.

"Oh and it's a bit high too, a bit rancid. But I figured that wouldn't matter considering where you'd be sticking it." Kerrison added matter of factly.

Jonathan wondered if he would ever get used to Kerrison. The man was simply too crude!  "Well thank you Kerrison," he finally managed to splutter out.

Mercifully eight bells sounded and Jonathan beat a hasty retreat with Kerrison's departing words ringing in his ears.

"I'll be thinking of yer Mr Riley."
 

Part 25

"What on earth have you got there Jonathan?" Archie asked as he eyed the greasy muslin bundle. Jonathan had presented it to him immediately upon arriving in his cabin but Archie was unimpressed.

"It's lard Archie." Jonathan replied, hoping he wouldn't have to explain.

"I can tell that by the smell! Rancid too I'd say!"  In the small confines of Archie's stuffy cabin the lard smelt even worse. Jonathan prayed that Archie wasn't going to open that damned skylight to let in some fresh air. The night would be ruined if he was constantly worrying about Kerrison eavesdropping!

"Whatever did you bring it here for Jonathan?" Archie asked again, refusing to take the parcel.

Jonathan sighed and tried to find the words he needed to explain. He shuddered at the way Kerrison had put it, 'grease yer up'. Now if he could just remember what Archie had said?

"It's to make it easy Archie?"

Understanding flashed in Archie's eyes and his look softened a little. "I am impressed by your ingenuity Jonathan, but I hardly think lard is appropriate."

Not appropriate? But Kerrison had said... Jonathan opened his mouth to speak but quickly shut it again. He could hardly mention his conversation with Kerrison to Archie.  "Are you sure Archie?" Jonathan's face clouded in disappointment that only resulted in Archie smiling more.

"Don't worry about it Jonathan. I took some castor oil. I think that will work."

Jonathan's eyes widened in horror. "Oh Archie. I hate castor oil! Do I have to take it too? Can't we try the lard?" he asked desperately.

Archie laughed. "Jonathan," he smiled, shaking his head. Archie walked to his sea chest and produced a large bottle of castor oil. "I didn't 'take' it, I 'took' it. From the infirmary cupboard." Archie explained.

"You stole it?" Jonathan asked, aghast.

"I'm the Captain, Jonathan, I don't steal I just demand." Archie's grin turned into an infectious laugh and Jonathan joined feeling his trepidation melt away. Perhaps everything would be fine after all.

They sat down at the table and commenced eating their supper but Archie's next words were not what Jonathan was hoping to hear.

"We won't need the castor oil tonight though Jonathan. It would be best to wait a couple of nights until we try it again. That will give you a chance to ..feel better. It will... hurt too much if we try again tonight."

"But Archie.." Jonathan began, but stopped suddenly when he saw the look on Archie's face.

"This is something I know about Jonathan, believe me! I don't want to hurt you."

Another glimpse into Archie painful past, Jonathan thought. Would Archie ever confide in him and talk openly about those times? Perhaps it was better not to know.
 

Part 26

"You did it again!" Jonathan whined as he frowned up at Archie Kennedy who knelt between his legs. Archie grinned and licked the rest of the semen from his lips.

"Are you complaining Jonathan? I could have sworn you liked it just now."

"Of course I liked it, but this seems to be becoming a habit of yours Archie."

Archie sighed and lay down beside him. "Jonathan, you rush in here each evening and can barely sit still long enough to eat! You're like a loaded cannon; primed and ready just waiting for a spark to set you off. Now that you've 'been fired' we can take our time a little. Swab out the cannon, reload and take better aim."

"You're starting to sound like Lionel Thockmorton!" Jonathan replied feigning offence. Archie responded by rolling them both over so that Jonathan now had the advantage.

"The Helm is your's Mr Riley. Show me how you steer the ship."

Jonathan grinned and set about the task.

"Go slowly Jonathan until you get the feel of it." Archie directed a little nervously. Jonathan snickered. At least he tried to but his mouth was otherwise engaged.

"Be careful with your teeth!" Archie hissed.

"Ss'lo'lly" Jonathan slurred apologetically, refusing to let go his prize in case Archie suddenly had a change of heart. Perhaps it would be best to concentrate on what he was doing, Jonathan decided. But who'd have thought it would be so difficult? There really wasn't that much room left in his mouth once Archie was in there. What was he supposed to do with his teeth?

Jonathan tried moving his tongue around and using his lips a little more. Archie's shivers of breath sounded encouraging. But a new concern was starting to take over. Would Archie object if he dribbled on him? There really was an awful lot of saliva building up in his mouth and Jonathan had no idea what to do with it. He tried swallowing it, which elicited a moan from Archie as his erection slid further into Jonathan's mouth. Jonathan continued his ministrations, stopping every now and again to get his breath as he couldn't seem to do both at the same time.

"Jonathan? A little bit of rhythm might be helpful."  Archie did not sound like a man in rapture! Jonathan attempted to look up in an effort to gauge the situation. Archie was leaning up on his elbows a look of frustration on his face. Their eyes met and Archie responded with a loud groan before he closed his eyes and lay down again.

Rhythm... he could manage that Jonathan decided, although he'd never been much of a hand at dancing! At last Archie began making the right noises. One of his hands came down to tangle in Jonathan curls encouraging him to continue. Archie's breathing was decidedly ragged now, coming in pants and gasps.

Not long Jonathan realised, but even so, Archie's orgasm took him by surprise. He gagged, thinking for a moment he would choke or be sick, or maybe both. But Archie pulled away quickly and Jonathan spluttered and gasped, trying to regain his breath.

Leaping from the bed and grabbing the decanter of brandy, Jonathan poured himself first one glass then a second and third in an attempt to get the taste out of his mouth. He downed them without stopping and was about to pour a fourth when Archie's voice caught him.

"Steady up Jonathan, you will make yourself sick. It's not that bad!"

At least Archie was still smiling Jonathan discovered when he turned back to the bed.

"It's worse than the brandy, Archie!" he explained as he padded back. He settled into Archie's arms, feeling slightly sick as the brandy hit his stomach. "But I suppose I'll get used to it, like everything else."

"Of course you will," Archie said softly as he kissed Jonathan's hair and forehead slowly working his way downwards.

Jonathan lay back, content to bask in Archie's lazy kisses as his head began to swim pleasantly. His body responded in no time at all when Archie's kisses and touches became more heated.

"Are you sure you don't want to try it Archie?" Jonathan purred into Archie's ear as he felt Archie's new erection digging into his side. He could feel the brandy flowing through him, warming him and suddenly everything seemed wonderful.

"No Jonathan, I don't want to hurt you. We'll just do this with our hands instead."

"Oh Archie, I'm sick of my own hand!" Jonathan giggled, suddenly wondering if he was back in the middy's berth.

"To each other Jonathan! Really, I think you that brandy has gone to your head."

Jonathan responded with another giggle.

"You won't feel like laughing when you have to go on watch in two hours," Archie chided before capturing Jonathan's mouth again and ending all conversation.
 

Part 27

"The first time I ever done it I snorted the bloody stuff up me nose!" Kerrison declared with a grin.

They were standing at the stern leaning against the taffrail, a breach of decorum in itself, but for the moment Jonathan didn't care. An hour into the middle watch and Kerrison was still here. The idle talk was a vain attempt to hide the fact that Kerrison thought Jonathan was too drunk to stand the watch. He'd said as much when Jonathan had come on deck. A fact which Jonathan had refuted, although in his own mind he knew he was one step short of sober. Perhaps he should have asked Archie to take his watch, but Archie had been sleeping so peacefully that Jonathan was loath to wake him.

So Kerrison had stayed on the pretence of asking after the lard and the conversation had somehow flowed on. Jonathan had related his adventures for the night and Kerrison had responded with his own version of the story.

"I was trying to make such an impression on 'im too. He was much older and I'd told him I knew what I was doin'. I'd seen it often enough yer know. Can't grow up below decks without seeing most things. There's scant privacy to be had down there."

"How old were you Kerrison?" Jonathan asked, still fighting the queasy feeling in his stomach.

"Thirteen! Thought I knew everything, I did. 'E must have thought me a right little fool."

They stood like that a while, side by side, watching the helmsman's back as he steadied the wheel.

There was something intimate about standing in the darkness like this, the stars a brilliant canopy above their heads, the wind blowing softly on their faces and in their hair. Jonathan remembered back to a time when he had shared nights like this with Archie. It seemed so long ago.

"Do you have a lover Kerrison?" It was the brandy that made him ask such a direct question, nothing more Jonathan told himself.

"Lover? Yer mean like a mate, someone regular like?"

"Hmm yes, that's what I mean. Like I have Mr Kennedy; just him and no one else."

Kerrison pushed a wayward strand of brown hair back behind his ears. "Not now. Oh I had one or two over the years, I reckon, but not at the moment. Of course there's always someone willing to help yer out if yer fancy a bit of it from time to time." Kerrison made it sound like an itch that needed scratching and Jonathan had to catch himself before he started giggling again.

"You should go and get some sleep Kerrison. I'm feeling much better now." It was true. The fresh air and talk had down much to clear Jonathan's head even if his stomach was still in revolt.

Kerrison glanced sideways, appraising the truth of Jonathan's words, weighing him up with those sharp hazel eyes.

"All right, but I'll bring you up some coffee before I settle in. Wouldn't want yer falling overboard because yer were half asleep." There was no censure in the words, merely an acceptance of the facts. It was not unknown for ratings to be 'three sheets to the wind' from time to time. If caught, they would be flogged, but many simply went about their duties, albeit a little slower than usual and no one was the wiser. Trouble came in bad weather or battle and Jonathan suspected that Kerrison's remark about falling overboard was spoken in the light of experience.

"Thank you Mr. Kerrison. I've enjoyed our talk."

Kerrison winked and grinned. "So 'ave I Mr Riley, so 'ave I."
 

Part 28

Jonathan bided his time. For the next few days he tried to refrain from asking Archie WHEN and vowed that he would wait until Archie made the first move. In the back of his mind he held a secret fear that Archie's reluctance was caused by more than just his concern for Jonathan's well being. If there was an additional reason, centred around Archie's treatment at Simpson's hands then Jonathan didn't want to compound the problem by nagging. Besides, there were plenty of other pleasures to keep them engaged and Archie showed no reluctance in anything but that one final act.

Nightly they explored each other's bodies with hands and tongue and lips, mapping the special places that brought pleasure, committing them to memory for future visits. It was a time of discovery for Jonathan as he learnt not only about his own needs and responses, but about how to please a lover too. He suspected the same was true for Archie also.

Just as the nights were filled with one type of learning, Jonathan's days were filled with another. By day he discovered the joys and tribulations of command. He made an effort to speak to the crew and find out their names. He spent time watching them at work and at rest, trying to understand their characters. He took an active interest in the running of the ship and made it his business to know the state of everything from the ships supplies to the set of the sails.

Jonathan assisted whilst Archie and Kerrison studied their charts to find a likely place to stop for fresh water along the African Coast. As they plotted the course in Archie's cabin, maps spread out across the small table, Kerrison caught Jonathan's eye, looked towards the now tidy bunk and winked. Jonathan blushed and rued his fair complexion, hoping Archie wouldn't notice.
 
Finally Jonathan's patience was rewarded. That night Jonathan found himself once more on his back, feet braced against the wall, transfixed by Archie's eyes.  It was different this time. Perhaps it was the castor oil that Archie used liberally. Perhaps it was the two glasses of brandy that Jonathan had drunk over supper. Perhaps it was the languid sleepiness that transfused Jonathan's body, the legacy of already having come twice thanks to Archie's attentions a little earlier.

This time it was a sigh that escaped Jonathan's lips as Archie breeched his body. The sensation was still strange, but the pain was absent.

"That's better," Archie whispered breathlessly, then, "That IS better, isn't it?"

It was Archie's uncertainty in all of this as much as the care he was taking, that made Jonathan so desperate to please him. "Yes Archie," Jonathan smiled trying to reassure and not really knowing what else to do.

Perhaps that was the problem! What DID one do during this act? Should he just lie there or was he supposed to participate in some way? Their position made it hard to reach up and kiss Archie, to touch him or hold him. Jonathan tried moving a little to match Archie's thrusts and was pleased when Archie smiled at him, encouraging him to continue.

One of Archie's hands moved slowly up from Jonathan's hip to tease at his cock again. "Come on Jonathan," Archie whispered when his hand drew little response. Suddenly Jonathan was confused; what exactly was Archie expecting of him? Whilst he no longer felt any discomfit, neither did he feel any arousal. Yet that was obviously what Archie was hoping for as he continued with his caresses.

"I want you to enjoy this too Jonathan," Archie explained and Jonathan knew he had seen the confusion in his eyes.

"I am enjoying it Archie," Jonathan insisted, suddenly afraid that he was disappointing Archie again. He was rewarded with Archie's smile and a gentle nod. "It's all right Jonathan," Archie whispered again, "I know."

But Jonathan was left feeling slightly inadequate, as if he was doing something wrong. He tried to concentrate on Archie and his reactions again for he was simply happy to partake in Archie's pleasure, to see it claim him and leave him dazed. Afterwards he cradled Archie in his arms, smoothed back the sweaty fair hair and covered his brow with kisses.

"I'm sorry if I am not as good as Peter with this, Archie," Jonathan whispered as he listened to Archie's steady breathing.

"Oh Jonathan! This isn't some sort of competition!" The angry retort took Jonathan off guard.

"I'm sorry," he murmured again, "I just want it to be perfect."

"Jonathan, give it time." Archie replied. His voice sounded weary. "I want YOU to enjoy it too, but.."

"I did enjoy it Archie!" Jonathan insisted again. Heavens, how had they come to be at such cross purposes in this, Jonathan wondered.

"We have plenty of time to get it right." Archie said, burrowing in closer. "For once time is on our side."
 
 
 

Part 29

The next morning they sighted the African coast and cautiously made their way to their anchorage. They spent an anxious afternoon taking soundings as they slowly negotiated reefs and shoals that were waiting to run them aground. It was almost dusk before they weighed anchor in a small deserted cove that offered safe harbour. It had taken far longer to bring the Mistral through the treacherous reefs then either Archie or Kerrison had imagined and by night fall both men were showing signs of their tiredness and frustration.

Throughout dinner Archie had sat silently whilst Jonathan chatted on, trying to lighten his mood.

"And would you believe that Mr Kerrison has seen a mermaid?"

Archie raised a sceptical eyebrow but remained silent.

"He has! He told me so himself. Said he was about ten at the time, when he was aboard the Kraken. Six of them saw it and they all had tattoos done to remember it by. He showed me!"

"He showed you his tattoo?" Archie asked, voice raising and brow furrowing. "Where?"

"On the quarter deck." Jonathan replied. What on earth was the problem now?

"Not where...WHERE! Really Jonathan, I hardly think that sort of thing is..is...BECOMING of an officer. You DO have a position to uphold. To be EXAMINING each other on the QUARTER DECK..."

"Heavens Archie. Where do you THINK the tattoo was?" Jonathan retorted rolling his eyes. "He merely rolled up his sleeve! It was on his forearm!"

"That's NOT the point Jonathan. Such behaviour is simply not right."

Jonathan looked away and downed the last of his brandy deciding it was simpler to put Archie's bad mood down to the rigours of the day. He stood up and held out his hand.

"Come on Archie, come to bed and let me cheer you up. I'll make you feel better."

"Jonathan, not tonight. I'm worn out."  It was the first time since becoming lovers that Archie had refused him. Jonathan was surprised and more than a little put out.

"But Archie," he began again, seductively, thinking he'd be able to win Archie over with a few touches if he could just get him into bed.

"Jonathan, on the seventh day even God rested. I'm not divine! I am tired and I want to go to sleep. Please respect that." Archie walked to the bed and sat down wearily. "I never realised how demanding it was being a Captain. The responsibility is frightening! I've never captained a prize ship before, this is all new to me." Archie pulled his hair loose and shook his head to free the strands. "The lives of everyone on board were in my hands today. If Kerrison hadn't insisted he knew those reefs I would never have attempted to get through! One wrong decision and we could have put a hole right through the timbers or run aground. We would have been stranded here Jonathan!"

Archie's words stirred Jonathan's conscience; when would he stop thinking of himself first and see things from Archie's perspective?  "I'll sleep in the hammock then, Archie," Jonathan said gently. He rubbed Archie's neck and kissed his cheek. "There's not much room in this bed and you'll sleep better if I am not half on top of you."

Archie kissed him back lightly. "Thank you Jonathan, I'm glad you understand."

But as Jonathan lay in his hammock, alone and miserable, he could not help but think over the events of the last few days. For all the physical pleasure he had enjoyed, Jonathan felt there was still something missing. He thought of times past that he had shared with Archie, the long quiet hours spent talking from their heart, sharing confidences, or the happy day they had spent during his first shore leave in Gibraltar. It was that closeness that he missed now. The only time he felt they were truly close was when he was in Archie's bed and even then Jonathan felt that he couldn't talk about certain things.

Jonathan thought of Peter Crittenden and how he had sat beside Archie in the tavern in Gibraltar, the two of them looking so happy, so close. Would Jonathan ever feel that with Archie, that bond that had shone from their eyes that morning? How could Archie NOT compare him to Peter Crittenden and find him lacking?

If only he and Archie could recapture those times, Jonathan felt certain that all would be well between them. Perhaps if he could get Archie to come ashore with him tomorrow they could have some time to themselves away from the worries of the ship and the ever-present crew. Perhaps then Archie would stop being so serious and open up and talk and they could just be themselves again, instead of Acting Captain and Acting Lieutenant.
 
 

Part 30

It was simply too tempting. The sparkling water, the gentle waves, the white sand of the cove beckoned to Jonathan as he gazed longingly towards the beach. A backdrop of lush tropical foliage only added to the exotic picture. Jonathan silently cursed Kerrison for volunteering to go ashore with the water party. They'd been gone an hour already and Jonathan could see several seamen splashing in the waves; filling the oaken casks seemed the last thing on their minds.

"I hope you are not upset over last night Jonathan?" Archie asked as he came to stand beside Jonathan at the rail.

"No Archie, I understand, honestly I do."

"Perhaps I can make it up to you. Would you like to go ashore?"

It was sheer will power that stopped Jonathan from embracing Archie where they stood. "May I Archie? It looks so lovely."

Archie laughed. "Sometimes Jonathan you sound like a little boy! Go gather some hands and take more of the water casks. Oh and when you have finished let the lads have some free time. They deserve it after what we've been through."

"Are you coming too?" Jonathan asked hopefully.

"No, my place is here. Someone has to watch the ship. Surely you haven't forgotten that those Americans are still locked in your cabin. You know how ruthless THEY can be." There was a hint of a smile in Archie's eyes, but Jonathan didn't feel like sharing the joke.

"I can send Kerrison back. He can take over here!" Jonathan declared, trying to think of some way to get Archie to come ashore. "It looks so lovely Archie, why, we could play in the water together!"

"Jonathan, a Captain does not go frolicking in the waves! It simply isn't done." Archie smiled at Jonathan's pout. "Go on, enjoy yourself. I'm sure you'll manage to have fun without me."

Jonathan sat at the tiller sulking as he steered the cutter towards the beach. The sea, a brilliant blue-green that dazzled the eyes, was calm as the reefs provided natural protection from the breakers. As he drew closer to the shore, he could see several of the seamen idling on the white sand or playing in the shallows.  Jonathan found himself smiling as his earlier mood lifted.

Kerrison met them as they landed. "Something up Mr Riley?" he asked cautiously. Kerrison had discarded his shoes and had his trousers rolled up to his knees. His shirt was loose. All in all he looked like just another of the ratings. Jonathan wondered if Kerrison thought he had been sent to reprimand him. There seemed to be a marked lack of discipline in the small party.

"No, Mr Kennedy sent us to help. He also said to let the lads have some free time when we are done." Jonathan cast a pointed glance at the men playing and relaxing nearby, "But I can see you have already seen to that."

Kerrison's face broke into a wide grin. "Yeah, that's what I figured too. Been letting 'em have a bit of a splash now and again, just to cool off. It's hot work filling those casks.

An hour later Jonathan had to concede it was indeed hot work and he'd only been supervising. The sun beat down, sending a steady stream of perspiration down his face and back. He was more than thankful for his hat. He was just wiping his face with his sleeve again when Kerrison strolled up.

"Come on, time for a break." He looked at the men working and then back at Jonathan. "Pick one of 'em to be in charge and give 'em ten minutes break. Tell 'em you and me have some ex-plor-ray-shons to do."

Jonathan almost laughed at the way Kerrison said the word 'explorations'. It was clear it was not a word he used often. He suddenly wondered at Kerrison's motive.

"Explorations? Whatever do you mean Mr Kerrison?"  Jonathan asked firmly.

"Well Mr Kennedy told me to keep me eyes opened and have a look around abouts. For Frogs and the like, yer know. So that's what we'll do, you and me!"

"Oh yes, well er, I suppose so." Jonathan replied wondering why Archie hadn't mentioned anything to him. Didn't Archie trust him with such an important job?  "Who should I put in charge? " Jonathan continued, suddenly feeling his own inadequacy and inexperience.

"Who do YOU think Mr Riley, think about it now." Kerrison encouraged.

"Well, Harris might do well, but I think I'd have to send Gillies away. They'd get in to strife if I left them together." Kerrison nodded in agreement and Jonathan continued.

"Gillies, you go down to the beach and watch the boats, send Miller back up here. The rest of you can have ten minutes break, then it's back to work. I'm leaving you in charge Harris. Do you understand?"

The seaman nodded and tugged at his forelock.

"Mr Kerrison and I are going to take a look around. There have been reports of French patrols in this area," Jonathan continued, embellishing the story a little, "So be on the look out. We'll be back in a while."
 

Part 31
 

Kerrison gave a little chuckle as they wandered back to the beach. "There yer go, that wasn't so hard. Yer getting the hang of this officer stuff."

Jonathan felt pleased with Kerrison's praise and more than a little curious at their planned ex-plor-at-ion. "So where are we going Kerrison?" he asked he followed the Mate northwards along the beach.

"Around the point. I want to show yer something. Here, take off those bloody shoes and stockings, they'll be full of sand in no time." Jonathan hopped along, removing the articles and trying not to lose pace with Kerrison who didn't seem keen to stop.

"Is it the French? Are they here?" Jonathan asked, not sure if he should feel excited or afraid.

"No no, look!" They turned the point and Kerrison pointed along a wide white beach that stretched for miles before them. Gentle surf broke on the sand sending salt spray into the air like a fine mist.

"Isn't that just the most beautiful sight yer ever seen?" Kerrison asked, smiling.

It was beautiful. Jonathan spent a moment in solemn appreciation. "Yes it is." he finally murmured.

Leaving behind the cove and the men, the boats and the water casks, they walked further around the point until Jonathan felt the wind hit his face. Kerrison Laughed as Jonathan was forced to grab at his hat, dropping one of his shoes. His stocking blew away, leaving him no option but to chase after it.

"You've been here before, haven't you." Jonathan said when he once again caught up with Kerrison.

"Yes, that's how I knew the cove was a good anchorage. I knew the reefs too cause I was the top lookout last time we came through. Helped to sight them when I was on the 'Kraken'."

"You've got a good memory then. I doubt many men would have tried that."

Kerrison ducked his head a little. "Yeah, well it proved to be harder than I thought, but I knew I could do it, I did." He looked up again, shaking the cloud of worry away. "Come on, let's have a swim. It's bloody hot!"

"Oh no," Jonathan said hurriedly. "I can't swim." Kerrison merely laughed.

"Well at least have a wash then. Yer starting to smell like a ripe cheese!" And with a cheeky wink Kerrison proceeded to strip off his clothes. Jonathan stared for a moment then turned away, embarrassed, until Kerrison ran into the water and waded out some distance.

"Come on, don't be shy! I'll teach yer to swim. There's nothing to it. Might even save yer life one day."

The water DID look inviting and it DID feel cool on his feet. But he didn't need a wash! Archie would have told him if he did. Jonathan watched for a moment as Kerrison dived under the incoming waves and surfaced on the other side, shaking his hair free of his face.

Slowly, Jonathan took off his blue jacket, then his shirt. Perhaps he could leave his breeches on, he wondered for a moment, but they would take forever to dry and were already stiff from washing them in salt water. Oh well, what did it matter anyway. No one was going to see, except Kerrison and he'd hardly be shocked by anything Jonathan had to show. Jonathan unbuttoned his breeches, let them slide down his legs and gracefully stepped out of them.

The water was bracing but refreshing as he gingerly stepped in. He waded out until he was close to where the waves were breaking, then hesitated, unsure, held back by his natural fear of water.

"Come on, come out with me," Kerrison called and caught a wave to swim in beside Jonathan.

"Gee, yer really DO have red hair everywhere! Some of the lads had a bet yer see. Wait till I tell 'em"

"You'll do no such thing!" Jonathan declared angrily until he saw Kerrison grin again and knew he was being teased. He fought down his blush, wondering if he should go back.

"Come on" Kerrison said holding out his hand. "Come out past the waves, it's calmer out there. I won't let yer drown."

Slowly Jonathan reached out and felt the rough calloused hand take his in a strong grip. They moved slowly out towards the breakers, the surge and swell of the surf dragging at them the further they went. Jonathan gripped Kerrison's hand tightly when the reached the place where the waves were dumping in a pounding tumble of foam.

"Dive through," Kerrison directed, but Jonathan was knocked off his feet and out of Kerrison's grip. He spent anxious moments tumbling beneath the waves, not sure what direction up was, struggling to hold his breath and not panic until two strong hands dragged him to the surface.

He spluttered and blinked, before grabbing hold of Kerrison again. The water was up to his armpits here, and was swaying and surging in a frightening manner.

"Yer all right." Kerrison laughed, disentangling him but holding his forearm firmly. "Just relax. If yer relax you'll just float with the swell, here look." Kerrison jumped gently and boobed up over the next rise of wave that continued on to crash a few yards behind them. "See, we're far enough out now. We can float around here and the waves won't trouble us."

Jonathan nodded, still too afraid to speak. His hair was dripping in his eyes, which stung from the salt water. His nose and throat were stinging too from the water he had swallowed. But there was a pleasant feeling to the waves, once one became used to them, Jonathan decided. The weightlessness he felt as he bounced was quite pleasant and the caress of the waves felt almost sensual.

Kerrison seemed at home here, cavorting like a dolphin as he dived and surfaced here and there.  He could swim too, with a strong clean stroke that spoke of many years of practice.

"Where did you learn to swim Kerrison," Jonathan asked when the older man came back to stand beside him while he caught his breath.

"Fell overboard when I was a little thing. A seaman by the name of Riddley dived in to save me, but we had to wait till the ship could send the cutter back to pick us up. Were in the water for an hour or so. T'was in the West Indies so it weren't cold like it is up north otherwise we would 'ave freezed. So whiles we were there, he thought to show me how to swim. I'm glad he did. The Kraken ran aground when I was fourteen. The ship lay there, in sight of the shore, slowly breaking up as the waves ground it further onto the rocks. Over a hundred men died that night, but I could swim and made it ashore."

Kerrison went quiet then and looked out to sea lost in his memories and Jonathan took the opportunity to let his eyes wander over Kerrison's shoulders and down as far as he could see beneath the green water. Up close Kerrison's skin had a hue to it that spoke of long exposure to the sun. Jonathan felt very pale by comparison. It was easy to see Kerrison's wirey strength too. The ropey muscles, a legacy of his former trade, stood out clearly in his arms and legs. He was taller than Jonathan, perhaps even a little taller than Archie, but much thinner; as broad in the shoulders, but narrower in the chest and torso and hips. Jonathan pulled his gaze up, not trusting himself to look any further.

Kerrison's eyes were waiting for him, a hint of amusement in their depths. They shone green in the reflected light of the water. Jonathan blushed and tried to compose himself.

"Did yer know when yer blush it goes all the way down to yer.."

"Yes I did!" Jonathan replied tartly, "Don't YOU ever blush Mr Kerrison?"

Kerrison cocked an eyebrow as if considering the question. "No, don't think so," he replied cheekily, "But yer might take me by surprise one day Miss-ter Rile-lee!"

"I thought you were going to teach me to swim," Jonathan said looking away and thinking it might be a good time to change the subject.

"That I did, come over here." Jonathan moved closer and Kerrison caught him round the waist. Jonathan gasped slightly.

"Just move yer arms a legs around like I was doing, let yerself go sort of limp like and yer'll float up a bit, don't worry, I'll hold onto yer."

Jonathan did worry, but his worry focused more on the touch of Kerrison's hands on his skin than on all water around him.

"Put yer head in the water, just hold yer breath."

Kerrison shook his head at Jonathan's feeble efforts. "No, try it this way. Move yer hands like a dogs paws, and yer legs like yer running. Yer can keep yer head up for that one. Don't worry, I'll not let yer drown. Mr Kennedy would have my skin if I did!"

This new suggestion was a little easier. Jonathan was just starting to manage the movement when Kerrison spoke again.

"Bloody scrawny thing, aren't yer!" Jonathan turned his head sharply only to be confronted by Kerrison's broad grin. "Nice arse though."

Jonathan turned away again, face flaming, trying to think of something to say. He felt Kerrison's hands slip a little lower onto his hips and held his breath, hardly aware of anything but the warm hands touching his skin. He waited for Kerrison to move then again and felt strangely disappointed when it didn't happen.

"There yer go, yer swimming," Kerrison said quietly.

It was true, Jonathan was swimming, albeit with his head out of the water and his arms and legs making strange little movements, but he was afloat by himself, a fact Kerrison proved when he removed his hands.

They spent the next hour or so perfecting the movements. 'Frog swimming' and 'dog swimming' were what Kerrison called the two styles simply because they reflected the movements of those animals. As the day wore on Jonathan became more confident in his newfound ability. He and Kerrison were soon racing each other and chasing each other; splashing one another playfully, wrestling and dunking each other as they became more daring.

The time passed quickly. As Jonathan wiped the water from his eyes and caught his breath after another dunking, he saw the sun was sitting low in the west and knew it was time to return. "We'd best be getting back. I've enjoyed today Kerrison. Thank you for everything."

Kerrison pushed his tangled brown hair out of his eyes and fixed Jonathan with his direct gaze.

"I enjoyed it too," Kerrison said with a wink then added, "And if yer ever find yerself looking for a bit of it, well yer know who to come to."

Jonathan blinked. For a moment the words made no sense, but their meaning slowly sank in and ran like liquid fire under Jonathan's skin, leaving him feeling hot and uncomfortable.

"Am I to take it that you wouldn't mind having a 'bit of it' with me, Kerrison?" Jonathan finally managed to say, trying to sound as if he was used to such offers.

"Yer right there Miss-tterr Rriiile-leee." Kerrison purred, grinning like a tabby cat. "I reckon you'd be all sweet and soft like a young lass."

"I'll have you know there's nothing soft about me, Mis-ter, Kerri-son" Jonathan flung back with a grin.

Kerrison let his gaze slip down Jonathan's body to what was hidden beneath the water.

"Yeah, I can see that." Kerrison grinned, eyes appraising Jonathan's erection. "I'll leave yer to it then." He looked up and winked, "Just let me know if yer need a hand," he added playfully.

Before Jonathan could reply, Kerrison dived into the water and swam back to the beach.

Jonathan watched for a moment, eyes following the long strong legs that kicked through the water, before whispering to himself, "Seems I'm not the only one with a nice arse, Mr Kerrison."
 
 
 
 
 
 

Part 32

"You would have loved it Archie, it was SO beautiful and the water was lovely, not cold at all, and you'll never guess what Mr Kerrison showed me.." Jonathan paused as he dropped his shirt onto the floor, suddenly concerned by the frown slowly growing on Archie's face.

"You're back and shoulders are sunburnt Jonathan." Archie began chiding as Jonathan continued undressing. "Really Jonathan, you should have known better..Oh my! You're pink ALL OVER!"

"Yes, you see we went swimming. Kerrison taught me how to swim!" Jonathan explained hurriedly, but it did little to alleviate the shocked look on Archie's face.

"You swam naked?" he asked, his voice rising a little.

"Well yes, there didn't seem to be much point in leaving our clothes on, and I'm not THAT sunburned Archie. It hardly stings at all." If anything the sunburn made his skin feel highly sensitive, magnifying the touch of his clothes and the sheet on Archie's bed when he lay down.

"I wish you had been there Archie, we could have had so much fun together." Jonathan rolled onto his back and grimaced as the sunburn finally made itself known.

"Let me rub some of that oil into your back and shoulders or they will peel. And don't try to tell me that it doesn't hurt!"

Jonathan acquiesced and rolled onto his stomach as Archie brought the castor oil over. He trickled it down Jonathan's spine and it pooled in the small of his back. With strong gentle hands Archie rubbed it into Jonathan's reddened shoulders and back.

"It's really not that bad Archie. It's mainly just the top of my shoulders. We were in the water most of the time. I didn't think it would matter." The slow rubbing motion of Archie's hands felt very relaxing. Jonathan closed his eyes and once again he could feel the rocking of the waves cradling his body.

"It gets worse as the sun goes down Jonathan, that's what they say, you know," Archie whispered as his hands slid further down Jonathan's back. "You really shouldn't have done that, Jonathan. Whatever did the crew think?" Archie paused a moment and bent to kiss Jonathan's ear.

"We were out of sight. They didn't see a thing." Jonathan answered lazily. "That feels nice Archie, don't stop." Suddenly he remembered the touch of Kerrison's hands and felt a strange confusion.

But Jonathan's attention was drawn back as Archie's hands became more daring, more intimate. They moved down over his arse and down his thighs, then back again moving ever closer to their target, waiting, hovering...

"Oh yes, Archie, please," Jonathan whispered, knowing Archie was waiting for his consent before going any further.

"Are you sure the sunburn isn't too bad? We can do it this way if you like so it doesn't hurt your back."

"Yes, yes, I'm fine," Jonathan replied impatiently. For a moment he wished that Archie would stop all his molly coddling and just DO IT!

This was better, Jonathan decided as he knelt on the bed, hands against the wall. He became acutely aware of Archie kneeling behind him, Archie's hands holding him tightly, leaning against his back making his sensitive skin tingle, thrusting into his body as though he belonged there. He could feel Archie's warm breath on his neck, Archie's whispers close to his ear, and if he turned his head, he could almost kiss the soft lips that were just behind him.

And then it happened.

"Oh God!" Jonathan was unable to stop the scream that erupted from his throat. For one blinding moment his whole body had felt as if it was on fire.

"What's wrong?" Archie asked, ceasing his movements, his voice full of concern.

"Do that again," Jonathan gasped, his head still spinning from the sensation.

"Do WHAT? Did I hurt you? Are you all right?" Archie asked again his voice tight with panic.

"THAT! Whatever you just did! It felt so good." Jonathan implored growing more desperate.

"I don't know what you're talking about Jonathan. You're not making any sense. What did I do?" Archie sounded bewildered now and his voice had grown almost as loud as Jonathan's.

"This, this.." Jonathan tried to explain by thrusting himself back wards onto Archie's erection in an attempt to recapture the feeling.

Slowly Archie began to move again. The movements were timid as if Archie was afraid of what he had done.

"Harder, faster Archie, like before," Jonathan begged. He held his breath, waiting, feeling as if he was paused on a precipice and waiting to fall.

"OOHHH yes!" he screamed when he felt it again. "Don't stop," he added quickly, worried about Archie's reaction again. His whole body was alive now, his blood on fire, his erection suddenly so hard that it was painful.

"Ohhhhh," Jonathan gasped out as it lanced through him again, sending his senses reeling. He arched his back and pushed backwards, trying to meet Archie's thrusts, waiting for what he knew would come again.

"OHHH Arrrrrrrrrcchie," he shouted as his orgasm hit him, an unending wave that tumbled and rolled him, and left him gasping for breath. He slumped against the wall that was now covered with his semen. He could feel Archie still trembling behind him from his own orgasm.

"Oh Archie, that was...that was.." But Jonathan could find no words adequate enough to describe what he had felt. He turned to face Archie, hoping to somehow communicate his ecstasy by looks alone. He was unprepared for what he found.

Bewildered and uncertain, Archie merely stared at him, shaking his head slightly. "I don't understand it," Archie exclaimed, "I didn't even touch you."

"It was that feeling Archie, don't you know? It was like nothing I have ever felt before."

Archie shook his head and they sat back suddenly, at either end of the bed looking at each other, lost for a moment, almost strangers.

"Archie, you said I was supposed to enjoy it. Isn't that what you were talking about?" Jonathan asked. Archie's manner was starting to irate him. The magic of a moment before was being lost. All Jonathan wanted to do was curl up with Archie and go to sleep. Instead Archie sat there, looking as if Jonathan had committed some unforgivable sin. "Archie, haven't you ever felt that?"

"No," came the painful admission. "NO." Louder this time as Archie pushed his hair back with his two hands.

"Horatio told me it could be wonderful and Peter enjoyed it but I didn't know how or why." The words were full of anguish and left Jonathan feeling contrite.

But Archie's distress was difficult to understand. Was it Archie's own inexperience that made him somehow jealous of what Jonathan had achieved? Jonathan tried again. "How many times has anyone done it to YOU, Archie?"

"I never kept count!" The words were like ice and Archie's face had gone white, a frightening mask over the features that Jonathan loved. "I tried to put it from my mind, not think about it.."

"Oh no Archie, I didn't mean.." But Archie leapt from the bed and walked quickly to the casement windows, staring out into the darkness, bathed in moonlight,  naked and pale, his arms wrapped around himself in a pathetic gesture of comfort.

Jonathan had never felt so alone.

"Archie I'm sorry," he whispered fervently. "You mistook my words, that's not what I was asking."

Archie nodded, but didn't turn. His voice, when he spoke, sounded shaky. "It's my own demons Jonathan. You're not to blame."

Jonathan bit his lip, unsure of what to say or do, afraid that he would only add to the hurt if he tried to do anything. He felt tears prick at his eyes and brushed them away angrily. When he looked up again Archie had turned back and was watching him.

"Jonathan," his name sounded like a sigh as it hovered on Archie's lips. "I've known all along that I was flawed, but I thought I had beaten it, I thought I had left it behind. But this...this, perhaps I simply CAN'T ..."

"Oh no Archie," Jonathan wiped at his eyes again. "Come back to bed, please. Come back and talk to me."

Surprisingly Archie did just that. They lay in an uneasy silence and Jonathan knew that he would have to speak first. He prayed he knew the right words to say.

"Archie, from what you have told me you have only done this once with Horatio and two maybe three times with Peter? Am I right?" Archie nodded, his hair tickling Jonathan's shoulder.

"Well perhaps you should harken to your own words Archie. You told me to give it time. Perhaps that's what you should do too." Jonathan bit his lip, wondering if he dared to say the next words. Up to now, Archie had not mentioned sharing the same bounty with Jonathan, but then again he had never denied it either.

"Perhaps when you and I, that is, if you let me, do that...well, perhaps it will be different, between us, you know?"

"Oh Jonathan," Archie sighed as he pulled Jonathan closer and buried his face in his neck.

"Archie you've never told me what happened and I don't expect you to. I don't know what those experiences might have done to you, I just can't imagine." Jonathan brushed the soft golden hair. "But I DO know this; I LOVE you Archie, just as you are. That's all that matters. You'll see, it will be all right!"

"Oh Jonathan, if only it were that simple." Archie whispered.
 
 

Part 33

Jonathan knew exactly what he needed to do when he went on deck for his watch that night. As he lay awake listening to Archie sleeping, Jonathan had made a vow that he would be the one with whom Archie found that elusive pleasure. All he needed was a little information and he knew just who to ask. Now he waited until Kerrison finished relaying the details of the watch, before beckoning the Mate over to the taffrail. Kerrison smiled, his eyes once again hazel in moonlight.

"May I ask you something Kerrison?" Jonathan began nervously. Kerrison nodded, something almost wicked showing in his eyes. "Yer can ask me anything yer like Mis-ter Rrrile-lee."

"Do you know about..about that ...feeling? The one you get when someone's..." Jonathan trailed off, completely at a loss for words.

"Fuckin' yer?" Kerrison supplied helpfully.

"Er, yes."

"Like yer just been struck by lightening?"

"Yes, that's it."

"Hmm, good ain't it." Kerrison grinned and winked. "Not being struck by lightening, mind, the other," he continued lightly. "I did see one lad struck by lightening one night when we were up the mast reefing the sails. Yer should have heard the noise he made! It was much the same as the noise one or two lads I know make when yer fuck 'em just right."

"Really." Jonathan said fighting back his embarrassment and wondering if Kerrison had heard him earlier. "And just how do you 'fuck 'em just right'?"

"Yer want me to show yer?" Kerrison asked, his voice suddenly low and serious.

"Oh no, I was hoping you could tell me." Jonathan hastily explained. "You see I want to be able to do that for Mr Kennedy. He's never felt it you see. I don't really know how, and he doesn't either and...well I think it was just pure luck that we got it right tonight." Jonathan caught his breath and licked his lips waiting to hear what smart comment Kerrison would have in reply but the Mate had gone strangely silent.

"I see," Kerrison said quietly as he turned away to look out to sea. "Yer must think a lot of 'im if yer going to all this trouble for 'im."

"Oh yes, I care for him deeply." Jonathan admitted, surprised to find no hint of teasing in the hazel eyes when Kerrison looked at him again.

"Well there's no real way to it. It's sort of hit and miss, yer know." There was something missing in Kerrison's voice too, the light banter that was so often present.

"But can you give me some idea? It's very important to me." Jonathan asked again. Kerrison nodded and continued.

"Yer got to sorta try it a few ways, get just the right angle, just the right spot. It take a bit of time yer know, but that shouldn't worry you pair. Below decks it's different. Yer got to sneak around and it's a matter of in and out as quick as yer can. If the other lad comes too, well, that's a bonus, yer see."

"Thank you Mr Kerrison. You've been most helpful."

Kerrison looked at him, long and hard, his hazel eyes so different now that there was no humour to light them. "'E's a lucky man, your Mr Kennedy," he said quietly. They stood together looking out over the waves as an uneasy silence descended.

"I'd best turn in then." Kerrison said finally as he turned away. "It was a good day today, but swimming tires a body out."

Jonathan watched as Kerrison left the deck, slowly understanding the reason for his sudden change. Kerrison had flirted with him all day, and he had flirted back. It had seemed harmless at the time, but who would have thought that Kerrison had been serious. What must the Mate have felt when Jonathan had spoken so openly of his feelings for Archie Kennedy just now?

It was easy to dismiss a man like Kerrison as having no feelings and yet he had shown time and again that it was untrue. Jonathan looked up to the moon and silently prayed that Kerrison had a mate below decks that he could go to tonight. Someone he could hold and seek comfort with. Someone to ward off the loneliness that Jonathan had seen in those hazel eyes.

Part 34

At high tide the following morning, the Mistral made her way back through the reefs and out to sea. Jonathan sat atop the main mast with the lookout, following their progress. He'd taken with him parchment and a pencil and roughly sketched the position of the reefs and shoals as they passed.

At the change of watch he showed his sketches to Kerrison. Jonathan was a little apprehensive about how the Mate would react this morning, but Kerrison seemed his usual self again.

"That's a fine effort Mr Riley. Not bad at all." Kerrison said. "There's just a few parts that need a little altering, not much. See, this bit here," Kerrison pointed to the diagram. "That needs to be out a little more."

Jonathan frowned. He felt his map was really quite good and was disappointed that Kerrison had found fault with it.

"How about I make a better copy of it and fix it up a bit?" Kerrison suggested.

If Kerrison wanted to copy the map then perhaps it really wasn't that bad. It might be interesting to see Kerrison attempt something like this given his lack of formal education. Perhaps the mate would be surprised to find that map drawing wasn't as easy as it seemed.

"I bet Mr Bowles would like a copy too." Kerrison continued, "I got some parchment and ink down in my cabin. We could do it there."

Jonathan hesitated, wondering what Archie would say. But Archie had seemed his old self too that morning, smiling at Jonathan when he came onto the quarter deck as of nothing untoward had happened last night. He'd only be helping Kerrison make a map. What harm could there be?

"All right Mr Kerrison, I'll come down and help you when I have finished my watch."

In the end, Jonathan thought it best to speak to Archie first and avoid any misunderstandings. When Archie came on deck for the afternoon watch, Jonathan showed him his sketch and told him of his plans. Archie nodded and smiled.

"That's a good idea Jonathan. Kerrison has a good memory for such things. But it's much better to have something to look at. I'm sure even Captain Pellew will be impressed by your ingenuity."
 

"Come in," Kerrison said when Jonathan knocked hesitantly on the door to the small cabin. Inside Jonathan was surprised to find it was even smaller than the little cabin he had originally been assigned. There was only a hammock and a small table pushed up against the wall.

Kerrison left the door opened. "Don't want any rumours to get started, this way it's safer," he said as if to explain his actions. Quickly Kerrison tidied away a tin plate and cup from the small table, dusting a few crumbs onto the floor. "Wasn't sure you'd really come," he explained as he worked.

"You eat in here too?" Jonathan asked. He had been of the opinion that Kerrison ate with the rest of the crew.

"Yeah, Mr Bowles said it didn't do for me to mess with the ratings any more. He said I had a place now, and I had to stick to it." Kerrison shrugged as if to shake off the words, but continued, "It's not so bad on the Indy, cause I mess with the other mates, but I have to eat alone here."

On the Indy Kerrison, the other Master's Mates and the Surgeon's Mate shared a berth next door to that of the Midshipmen, and although they had saw each other daily, Jonathan realised he had never spoken to Kerrison before their time together on the Mistral.

Kerrison pulled out a battered sea chest from beneath the table and opened it. In the dim light of the cabin Jonathan could just make out the initials carved into the top and highlighted in faded red paint; DB. Briefly he wondered who's chest it had been and how Kerrison had come by it, but his attention shifted to the aged parchment and quill and ink pot that Kerrison reverently brought forth and placed on the table.

The mate closed the sea chest and gestured for Jonathan to be seated on one end before perching himself on the other.

Jonathan watched in amazement as Kerrison quickly and effortlessly began sketching his map, but where Jonathan's drawing was made up of simple lines, Kerrison's was intricate and precise, with details for the reefs and others for the sandbars and shoals. There were even lines to indicate which ways the currents ran. He continued on, including the cove and the near by beach, as well as the freshwater stream and a small lagoon that he had found inland earlier. In one corner Kerrison drew a compass and then set about naming the various landforms on the map. Even in his writing Kerrison proved to have an ability that far surpassed Jonathan's own childish script. Jonathan recognised the handwriting at once, for he had seen it many times in the master's log but until now he had not realised it was Kerrison's. No wonder Mr Bowles had been so impressed. Finally Kerrison added the lines of latitude, all from memory of the chart they had studied days ago.

"Who taught you all of this Mr Kerrison?" Jonathan asked, feeling a little in awe of the Mate.

"This writing? Captain Briggs, taught me." Kerrison's face softened into a shy smile. "'E gave me these things too. Almost lost 'em in the ship wreck, but I tucked 'em into my jacket.

"I keep 'em for special things, yer know. But I reckon this is special. I think Mr Bowles'll like this 'ere map. Don't you?"

"Oh yes, I am sure he will. Who taught you to draw maps like that?" The finished map was every bit as good as any of the charts Jonathan had seen in Archie's cabin.

"No one, I just do it. Nothin' to it really. Yer just see it and then draw it. I don't do it often, cause I don't get the chance, yer know."

"Captain Briggs must be very proud of you, of how far you have come." Jonathan said softly.

"'E's dead. Died when the 'Kraken' ran aground. Wouldn't leave the ship with so many still on board. "E couldn't swim either, but several of the hands said they'd take him ashore. "He was well liked, Captain Briggs. 'E wouldn't go of course, stayed to the end with the others who were too afraid to risk the water."

Kerrison taped the sea chest with his knuckles. "This was his. It washed ashore all empty like and damaged. They was just going to leave it there on the beach, but I salvaged it. I didn't have one yer see and I reckoned the Captain wouldn't 'ave minded. He was like that yer know, kind to the men.

"Now what do yer think we should name this cove, 'ere? It didn't have a name on Mr Kennedy's chart, wasn't even marked properly. I reckon we can give it a name, don't you?"

Jonathan tried not to stare. Kerrison continually surprised him. What a complex character he was and yet Jonathan suspected he still barely knew the man. Kerrison smiled, waiting for Jonathan's reply and Jonathan studied his face. Nothing out of the ordinary there, except those cheeky hazel eyes. His long brown hair was tied back untidily and several strands had found their way lose and were either hanging in Kerrison's eyes or tucked back behind his ears. His clothes were rather shabby and looked as if he'd thrown them on with little thought to his appearance, a reflection of his lowly origins. And his hands? They were roughened by work and the elements, calloused and stained on the palms with ingrained tar from years spent climbing the rigging. To look at them one would never imagine that they could have such a deft touch with a quill or produce such fine, detailed work.

"I think you should name the cove Mr Kerrison." Jonathan said smiling shyly, "The honour should be yours."

"I'll name it after you then," Kerrison said with a grin. "Red head cove!"
Before Jonathan could pull away Kerrison brought one of his roughened fingers up to where Jonathan's hair was pulled back and tied with a neat black ribbon. Gentle hands too, Jonathan realised and he sat mesmerised whilst Kerrison wound a single curl around his finger.

"Yer got such pretty hair," Kerrison whispered, before turning back to the map.
 

Part 35
 

"And he did one for you too Archie, see. He's really very good at map drawing."

Archie looked over the map that Jonathan had spread on the table. "Red Head Cove?"

"Yes," Jonathan smiled at the flowery script. "He named it after me," he replied proudly. Archie nodded and turned away.

"You seem to be spending quite a lot of time with Mr Kerrison." The comment held no hint of censure. Archie was simply stating a fact.

"I suppose I am," Jonathan replied, "He's quite interesting when you get to know him." Jonathan looked up to finding Archie standing shirtless beside him, a hand was held out in invitation, which Jonathan accepted with a smile. He'd been so lost in his thoughts of Kerrison that he hadn't noticed Archie undressing.

Archie pulled him into his arms and kissed him firmly before starting on his buttons.

"Goodness Jonathan, I think for once you actually have something else on you mind!" Archie murmured as he kissed his way down Jonathan's neck.

"Not for long Archie," Jonathan replied trying to ignore the truth in Archie's words. But Archie was right, Jonathan had been thinking about something else most of the evening. Kerrison! Kerrison working away on the map, Kerrison eating alone in his dingy little cabin, Kerrison's fingers winding through his hair...

"Jonathan," Archie whispered, as he drew them both down to the narrow bed and Jonathan forced his mind back to the present. Archie rolled so that Jonathan was astride him, blue eyes, dark in the candle light, looking up, beseeching...what?

"Archie?" Jonathan asked uncertainly.

"Go on Jonathan," Archie whispered, his voice shaking a little. "You take me tonight."

"Oh," was all Jonathan could manage to say as the full import of Archie's request registered. For a moment he was beset by panic but he took a deep breath and reached for the bottle of castor oil.

"I'll need this?" Jonathan asked and watched as Archie nodded in reply.

"It might be best this time." Archie answered quietly.

There was no need to feel this unreasoning apprehension, no need to be afraid for either Archie OR himself. Archie wanted this, he'd asked for it, so it would be all right.  But suppose something went wrong, suppose he did something that hurt Archie or, worse still, reminded him of Simpson? If he thought God was listening, Jonathan would have prayed. Instead he tried to recall Kerrison's words about how to do it right and proceeded slowly and carefully. He'd done this with a woman, or something very similar, Jonathan told himself, so he knew what to expect. It couldn't be THAT different?
 

Moments later Jonathan knew he was wrong. Nothing could have prepared him for the shattering sense of intimacy that he felt when he looked down into Archie's eyes as he slowly breeched his body. The sheer physical sensation was practically enough to push him over the edge, but it was the emotional realisation of this ultimate union with Archie that almost provided to be his undoing.

Trying desperately not to lose control and finish before he had even started, Jonathan froze, closed his eyes tightly and tried to forget about everything but his breathing. It was the hardest thing he had even done. He pictured the wind gauge and recited the points, thought of a fully rigged frigate and named the sails from outer flying jib to spanker.

"Jonathan? What ARE you doing?" Archie's voice, slightly worried, broke through his concentration.

"I'm...I'mm.."

"Oh Jonathan. I suppose I should be flattered." Archie sounded amused now and Jonathan opened his eyes again to find playful blues eyes smiling up at him.

"Just move a little Jonathan," Archie directed. "We can always do it again."

And that was all it took, the slight movement, the teasing words, Archie's smile; they all sent Jonathan spiralling into ecstasy far quicker than he wanted.

"I didn't do that very well, did I Archie," Jonathan whispered a moment later as he lay once again in Archie arms.

Archie laid a kiss on his brow. "I think you did it just fine Jonathan. Now get your breath and you can do it again."
 

He did it twice more, before he was due to go on watch, but still Jonathan had not achieved his aim. Despite reassurances from Archie that he had enjoyed their love making, Jonathan knew that Archie had not felt that special pleasure, and he thought he could detect an underlying tension in Archie as if he were not entirely sure of the situation.

It was so hard to concentrate on what he was doing when the intense sensations and his own need for pleasure continually undermined Jonathan's willpower. Did Archie sense this and was he afraid because of it? Afraid that if he should say stop, Jonathan would be unable to do so?

There were so many hidden issues here, so many things that had never been voiced. Of course there was the obvious problem too. Jonathan knew what he was doing wrong. He was too fast, too quick. But what to do about it?

Kerrison was waiting as always, but Jonathan felt an unusual reluctance to talk to the mate this time. It was not from embarrassment for Kerrison would have a laugh and a tease and then offer a solution. No, it was Kerrison himself that was suddenly the problem, or rather Jonathan's feelings for Kerrison, as confused and mixed up as they were. Jonathan didn't want to hurt him, or lead him on for that matter; and intimate talk of any kind would have that effect.

After Kerrison had left and Jonathan was alone with only the moon for company, he wondered about Archie and all his problems. Perhaps they were too much for him to solve on his own. His own naivete and inexperience were such a handicap. Archie needed someone who at least knew what they were doing.

Jonathan's thoughts wandered back to snippets of conversations he had heard; small things he had seen. Horatio Hornblower...he held the answers; Archie's first friend and lover. Why, Archie had even admitted to Jonathan that he regretted he had never had more time with Horatio. How different things might have been if Archie had had that wish.

But Horatio was far away and a more immediate problem was Peter Crittenden. Peter would laugh in his face if he knew how many mistakes Jonathan had made through all of this. Peter, with years of experience behind him, who was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for Archie. Would Archie turn to Peter again in search of what Jonathan couldn't do for him?

Jonathan shrugged those thoughts away. Archie wouldn't leave him. Archie loved him. He may not have said the words, but his actions spoke for him; his caring, his patience, his generosity. No, Jonathan told himself, I have nothing to worry about. It was only the first time tonight, there will be other nights, and in the end we will get it right.
 

Part 36
 

But time won out and two days later the Mistral lay just off Gibraltar, waiting for first light to sail into the secure harbour.

"You realise things will change when we are back aboard the Indy, don't you Jonathan?" Archie took a sip of his brandy and looked at Jonathan across the table. It was their last meal together, their last night in the Captain's cabin and Jonathan didn't want his plans spoiled. He wanted to make this a night that Archie would remember, the one where he finally found that elusive pleasure that seemed to come so easily now to Jonathan. Kerrison had offered to stand the double watch, an offer that Jonathan had accepted gratefully. But now Archie was getting serious and already talking as if it were all over.

"We will be watched, Jonathan. The risk will be too great. This must be our last night together for a while I am afraid."

"Yes Archie," Jonathan conceded. He had already guessed that this would be the case.  "But we will have a few nights shore leave in Gibraltar before we sail again. We can be together there!"

"Yes we can, and we will have lots of shore leaves to look forward to together, if you like." Archie bit his lip and looked away. "But you must promise me one thing Jonathan," He turned back, blue eyes suddenly very serious.

"You must let me speak to Peter Crittenden before you say anything. This will come as a shock to him and I want to explain it without hurting him. Do you understand?"

Jonathan tried not to pout or frown. He could think of nothing better than seeing the look on Peter's face when he realised that he had lost and Jonathan had won.

"Yes, I understand Archie," he replied, deciding he could afford to be magnanimous in this. After all he WAS the victor. And hadn't Archie more or less just promised that for the rest of their time together they would be lovers? What more could Jonathan ask for!

There was a frenzy to their lovemaking that night, a desperation that hitherto had been absent.

"Harder Archie," Jonathan implored feeling a newfound assurance. "I want to still to feel you tomorrow when we go back to the Indy. Harder!"

Archie's only answer was a small whimpering noise that told of his desperate battle to stop his own orgasm. Jonathan wanted to shout out in triumph at his power to drive Archie to the brink of ecstasy. It was only his own need that stopped him from pushing the advantage. Archie's fingers gripped his hips and Archie's teeth bit into the back of his shoulder and Archie's cock dove deep into his body. Jonathan screamed with pleasure.

Could Kerrison hear them up on the quarterdeck? Did it make the Mate hard with desire knowing what they were doing beneath his feet? Pleasure spiked through Jonathan like a lance. For a moment he was unsure who was behind him, Archie or Kerrison, as wave after wave of sensation crashed over him. It was only when he leant his head against the wall that he was able to look down and see who's hands still rested against his hips. Jonathan felt a deep sense of guilt rise like a shadow over their lovemaking. How could he have lost himself in his fantasy like that?

They lay down together, resting a moment as their sweat dried and their breathing slowed.

"Archie," Jonathan whispered softly, feeling a terrible remorse. "Archie, let me do it to you now, like that. Let me show you how good it can feel. You'll like it." Perhaps he could make up for his mental infidelity.

"No Jonathan," Archie's breath was still coming in gasps and his voice was shaking. "Oh God, I've left marks on your shoulder. What have I done?"

Not again. Jonathan rolled over to face Archie, making him meet his eyes.

"Archie, it's all right. You didn't hurt me." Archie nodded, but his smile was forced.

"It felt GOOD. I liked it. Let me show you Archie, honestly you'll like it. I felt so alive..."

"No. Not like that Jonathan. I couldn't." Archie's voice left no room for discussion and Jonathan backed down. He almost asked why, almost asked if this was something to do with Simpson, but found that he knew the answer already.

"All right Archie," Jonathan placated, hoping that he still might get the chance to lead Archie to pleasure. "I won't do that. Just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it."

"Just hold me Jonathan, that's all. Hold me."
 

Part 37

It was with something of a divided heart that Jonathan boarded the Indy once more. Most of the Officers and Crew turned out to welcome home their lost brothers and it soon became apparent that many had feared the worse when the Mistral was so late.

Even Captain Pellew could not hide his relief as he praised Archie and the crew of the prize ship for their bravery in the face of the storm. Jonathan looked at the faces around him, and suddenly felt at home again. Lionel was beaming at him and Jonathan smiled back.

Even Peter Crittenden looked pleased to see him. But Peter's eyes turned to watch Archie as he followed Captain Pellew below to give his report. Peter smiled to himself and whispered something before looking back to catch Jonathan's steady gaze. He couldn't help it, Jonathan told himself, it wasn't deliberate. But the self satisfied smirk, the smile of victory that Jonathan turned on Peter Crittenden could have only one meaning. He's mine!

Peter blinked, a frown slowly replacing his happy countenance. He turned anxious eyes towards Archie's retreating back, before looking back at Jonathan, white faced, eyes blank, mouth slightly open.

It was a look that Jonathan took great satisfaction in seeing.
 

"Not another one?" Jonathan stared at he latest addition to the midshipman's berth and shook his head. This one looked even younger than Witherspoon.

"Grayson, Ned Grayson. Came aboard a week ago." Lionel said with thinly disguised contempt. "The berth is FULL of Midship-Mites! I feel like a nursery maid!"

Jonathan frowned at the young fair haired boy who sat smiling shyly at him from the bench obviously in the middle of writing something.

"Leave us Mr Grayson. We have important things to discuss!" Lionel's voice made it sound like an order and the boy dived for the door.

"My god, Was I ever that young?" Jonathan moaned. In truth, he still had vivid memories of his first days aboard the Indy, but it now seemed so long ago. "They seem to get younger all the time!"

"I think it is that WE are getting older Jonathan," Lionel answered perching himself on the edge of the table.

"So are you going to ask me how it went?" Jonathan sat down at on the bench and grinned at Lionel.

"If I am to judge by the smirk on your face when you came aboard then I would say it was very successful. You looked like the cat that had found the cream."

Jonathan grinned even more and raised an eyebrow. "That's a most astute observation Lionel and closer to the truth than you know. Yes, it was indeed very successful. We did everything!"

"You did?" Lionel replied looking a little shocked. He slid down onto the bench across from Jonathan, eyes wide and blinking.

"Yes and it was wonderful. I can't begin to explain it to you Lionel."

Thockmorton looked slightly relived at that statement, but Jonathan hadn't finished.

"You had the part about eating the orange all wrong though," Jonathan chided. "You'd better not try that with anyone until I show you how it's done properly."

"Jonathan! Really, I have no intention of..."

"It's more to do with your tongue and lips than your teeth. In fact there are several different ways you can try."

"Jonathan this isn't necessary" Lionel interrupted, his face red with embarrassment. "I would not dream of inquiring into your private affairs."

"But Lionel," Jonathan insisted, trying to keep his face very serious. "Think of all the times you have told me about all the women you have been with and all the experiences you have had. I consider it only fair that I return the favour and tell you how I.."

Lionel Thockmorton was saved from further embarrassment by the noisy arrival of Midshipman Pip Moseby. The boy skidded into the cabin, panting and breathless.

"I thought you went ashore young Pip?" Lionel asked, happy to change the subject.

"I did and I'm back and I did it!" Moseby blurted out in one breath.

"You did?" Jonathan asked with a blink. He looked at Lionel but the older Middy shrugged his shoulders.

"Yes," Moseby continued, dragging in another breath. "With a woman! A real woman! She took off my breeches and her dress and she had these.." Moseby waved his hands around in front of his chest, making clutching motions.

"Breasts?" Lionel offered helpfully.

"Oh yes, big ones, all soft and ..and then she pulled me down on top of her and she wrapped her legs around my waist and I and she and and.."

For a moment Jonathan and Lionel thought the younger Middy had run out of vocabulary necessary to describe what had taken place. But Moseby took another deep breath, opened his eyes wide and exclaimed.

"It was SO much better than bloody bread and jam!"

They were still laughing when Peter Crittenden stuck his head in. All trace of his previous shock was now gone and his face was carefully schooled in neutrality.

"I've come to say goodbye." Crittenden announced quietly as he stepped into the Middy's berth.

"You're leaving?" Jonathan blurted out. Peter looked at Lionel who looked down at the table abashed.

"Yes. I thought Lionel would have told you by now." Peter replied.

"I hadn't quite gotten around to it Peter." Lionel confessed quietly. He turned to Moseby. "Come on Pip, let us go find Witherspoon and Grayson. I am sure they will want to hear all about you adventure." The two Middies departed leaving Jonathan and Peter staring at each other across the room.

"I passed my Lieutenant's examination two days ago. First time I sat it and I passed, who'd have believed it!" There was no mirth in Crittenden's voice despite the announcement. "I've been assigned to the Nightingale."

"When do you leave?" Jonathan asked, knowing it sounded a rude but not trying to hid the fact.

"I'm going ashore now. I'll wait in Gibraltar until the Nightingale returns. She running dispatches in the Med. The Indy is to sail on the morning tide in case you haven't heard."

The morning tide? What would this mean to his planned night ashore with Archie? Jonathan's thoughts were interrupted as Peter continued.

"I thought you and Archie were lost, you know. Dead! After the storm Captain Pellew went back to look for you, but there was no sign of the Mistral. He couldn't stay, because those letters were so important. Once we arrived in Gibraltar I'd spend each day watching and waiting, hoping to see the Mistral sail into the harbour. Everyone was starting to give up hope.

"I prayed to God that he would save Archie. Prayed that he'd bring him safely home because I love him so much." Peter looked away, his eyes suddenly shining in the dim light.

"It's ironic isn't it. My prayers were answered. Archie's safe and well, but I have lost him anyway. That's divine justice for you.

"So Archie is all yours now Jonathan. I'm lowering my colours, you've won! But enjoy the victory while you can because there is one more lesson you have to learn yet Jonathan."

Peter's green eyes were full of bitterness when they met Jonathan's.

"It never lasts Jonathan, no matter how much you want it to. It never lasts"
 

Part 38

When Peter Crittenden left Jonathan wasted no time in seeking out Archie. He found him on the main deck supervising the loading of stores.

"I've just heard we are to sail on the morning tide. Will we still be able to go ashore for the night? Will the Captain let us?" Jonathan blurted out, trying to keep his voice subdued.

The look on Archie's face was hardly encouraging and Jonathan was surprised when he answered. "Yes, Captain Pellew has given his permission for us to go ashore, but we must be back by the end of the middle watch." Archie hesitated, and looked away towards the crew who were working nearby.

"I need to talk to you about something Jonathan."

"What Archie?" A faint shiver of unease crept up Jonathan's spine.

"I'm meeting Peter ashore tonight. I need to explain things to him. For the last two weeks he's been mourning my loss and now...well he knew before I could tell him.."

"I didn't tell him." Jonathan declared hotly, his face blushing. It wasn't a lie, he told himself. He had no need to feel guilty.

"I know that Jonathan. He told me that you hadn't said a word." Archie was still looking away, not meeting his eyes. "I only hope the rest of the ship took you look of triumph to be your relief at our homecoming." A soft almost pleading note was in Archie's voice when he spoke again. "He's very...upset by this Jonathan and I owe him an explanation. You can understand that can't you?"

"Well can't you do it here?" Jonathan challenged. "Why do you have to go ashore with him?"  Did he really sound that jealous? Jonathan cursed himself and stared down at the murky water in the bay. Damn Peter Crittenden!

"There won't be time Jonathan. Please try and understand, I shared something special with Peter and this is the last thing that he was expecting."

"Hmmph...I don't see why it is such a surprise. He knew how I felt about you or have you forgotten the fight we had over you? He should have known that there was a chance that we might.."

"Jonathan," Archie swung back, his eyes tormented. "Peter never suspected because I told him before I left that nothing WOULD happen while I was away!"

"You what?" The words seemed to ring in Jonathan's head but they made no sense.

"Jonathan you have to understand.."

"Why???"

"When I told Peter that, I had no intention of..that is to say that I never imagined.."

"You felt nothing for me?" Jonathan asked dazed.

"Of course I had feelings for you Jonathan, I have always considered you a friend.."

"A friend? Is that ALL?" Suddenly it was as if the last few weeks had never happened. As if all Jonathan had held as true was suddenly turned around and changed.

"Jonathan I don't think this is the place to discuss this, do you?" Archie looked back to the crewmen who were now looking their way, attracted by their raised voices.

"Well where should we discuss it then Archie?" Jonathan demanded angrily. "We can't go ashore, we can't go to your cabin or mine! Where else are we going to discuss this now?" Jonathan knew his voice had risen sharply but the pain in his heart robbed him of all caution.

"Jonathan let me explain. Just keep your voice down or you will have us both in trouble.

"So many things happened once we were aboard the Mistral; to me, to you. I saw you in a different light. You'd grown, not just physically, although I couldn't help but notice that too when you began sleeping in my cabin. You'd changed in other ways Jonathan and I, well, I suppose I am only human and I needed someone to reach out to after the long days. I was so afraid that I would make a mistake or fail.

"Perhaps it was wrong for me to turn to you? God knows I have cursed myself enough times for doing it. But it also felt very right. In some ways it felt as if I was being given a chance to redeem something of myself. Once we...well once we became.." Archie lowered his voice slightly. "Lovers, well, I couldn't stop and I didn't want to. You are very special to me Jonathan and you always will be, but I owe something to Peter too.

"When we leave here tomorrow I might never see Peter again. I don't want to be regretting what I did to him for the rest of my life. Peter helped me in many ways Jonathan, just as I helped him. He and I are lovers too. I know you don't like that fact, but nothing can change it. Nor would I want to. I don't want to hurt you Jonathan, but I DO need to see Peter tonight."

"Very well Mr Kennedy, I understand completely." Jonathan spun on his heel.

"Jonathan!" Archie hissed out and he turned around again.

"Any further orders Sir?" he asked not meeting Archie's eyes.

"No, nothing at all. It might be better if we continued this later when we are not so..." Archie's words trailed away and Jonathan became aware of someone watching them from the quarterdeck, Lieutenant Overton.

"Aye aye Sir," Jonathan replied absently as he made his way to the companionway.
 
 

Part 39

"Why don't you come ashore with me Jonathan? Who knows, you might even appreciate women a little more now that you have experienced the other side of things." Lionel adjusted his best uniform jacket and flicked at some imagined dust on the lapel.

"No thank you Lionel, I really don't feel like it."

Lionel looked at Jonathan and shrugged. "Oh well, it is our last chance for several weeks Jonathan and I for one don't intend to waste a moment more. Have a nice evening but I don't envy you having to put up with that all night!"  Lionel cocked his head in the direction of the three young midshipmen who were seated in the corner still discussing Moseby's earlier exploits.

Lionel left and Jonathan thought over his words. Last chance, yes, it would have been the last chance for Archie and himself to be together but instead Archie had chosen to spend the night with Peter Crittenden. The thought brought with it a stream of jealousy and anger. Peter, with all his worldly experience, Peter who could probably..

Was that what Archie was planning?  Was he hoping that Crittenden could show him what Jonathan had failed so miserably to do? That thought played on Jonathan's mind all evening and by the time he lay sullenly in his hammock in the Middy's Berth it had become indisputable fact. Of course Archie would rather spend the night with an older and more experienced lover. What could Jonathan possibly offer that Peter Crittenden had not already done?

Whilst the younger midshipmen, tucked side by side in their hammocks, relived in vivid detail Moseby's sexual adventures, Jonathan catalogued his own feelings; hurt, anger, jealousy, betrayal. There were so many that he wasn't sure where one feeling ended and the next began. In all they compounded to leave him feeling numb.

"Exactly WHERE did she put her hand Pip?"

Jonathan pulled his blanket over his head and suppressed a groan. Perhaps he should have gone ashore with Lionel if only to show Archie that he didn't really care. After all that's what Archie was doing now, he and Peter Crittenden.

"Oh God! Just thinking about it again, I can almost feel it..." Moseby groaned. New sounds intruded, fleshy sounds, familiar and unmistakable.

"Tell me about it again Pip? What did it feel like?" Witherspoon implored between ragged breaths.

Jonathan closed his eyes and tried not to think about the visions that the sounds conjured up; visions of Peter and Harry Stratford from so long ago, newer ones of himself and Archie. Suddenly the berth seemed hot and stuffy.

"How come mine doesn't work?" little Ned Grayson whined, "It just won't do that bit at the end, the messy bit."

"Your not doing it right Neddy! You've got to do it faster.." Witherspoon explained, "Here, like this."

"That fast? Oh ..don't stop Charlie, I like that! It feels better when you do it.."

With a groan Jonathan rolled out of his hammock, pulled on his clothes and headed out the door slamming it behind him; straight into a stationary figure in the passageway.

"What..?" Jonathan staggered backwards.

"Here, steady up, Mr Riley." A familiar voice said softly and a firm hand reached out to steady Jonathan's fall. "Yer seem to be in a bit of a hurry." In the dim light Jonathan could just make out Kerrison's smirk. "Did it get a bit too much for yer in there?"

"You could hear them too?" Jonathan asked, trying to compose himself. Fleeting scenes from the Middy's berth, Kerrison's hand resting on his arm, the Mates warm voice were all now adding to his discomfit.

"Oh yeah, those partitions are only thin. We hear most of what goes on in the Middies berth. It's right entertaining at times!"

Jonathan looked up into hazel eyes not far from his own. He was faintly aware of the caress of Kerrison's breath against his face.

"You off to find Mr Kennedy then?" Kerrison asked casually still not releasing his hold.

"Mr Kennedy has gone ashore with someone else."

"Oh! Ditch yer did he?"

"I wouldn't exactly call it that, anyway it doesn't really matter. I don't care." Could Kerrison hear the bitterness in his voice? "So, what do you say Kerrison, do you fancy a bit of it?" Jonathan blurted the words out even as the idea manifested itself in his mind allowing no chance for common sense to overrule his impulse.

A blush, faint but recognisable in the dim light coloured Kerrison's tanned face and Jonathan counted it as the first small victory.

"You and me?" The Mate's voice was hesitant as if he doubted he'd heard correctly.

"Yes Kerrison, you and me. Are you up for it?"

"Course I am!" The Mate needed no further convincing. "Come on," he said pulling Jonathan's arm slightly. "I know a place that's safe, but be quiet."
 

Part 40

Down into the bowels of the ship they went. Down into the darkness and the dankness where the stink of the bilge was almost enough to make you gag. Down, down; Kerrison led and Jonathan followed feeling a strange mixture of excitement and guilt. Down to the hold, where all manner of supplies were stored and rats scuttled. Jonathan gasped when one ran over his foot. Kerrison chuckled.

"If we're caught, just tell 'em yer checking for rats!" Kerrison explained as he wove his way in and out of barrels and bales.

Finally they came to a dead end and Kerrison turned quickly, pushing Jonathan up against the wall. He dropped to his knees and began unbuttoning Jonathan's breeches. In the near darkness Jonathan was faintly aware of hazel eyes staring up at him.

"Spread yer legs a bit," Kerrison whispered before engulfing Jonathan's cock with his mouth. Jonathan stifled his gasp and clenched his fists. No sound this time, for the danger was real now. It only added to the excitement.

Kerrison was not like Archie! Neither one was better than the other just different. Kerrison's spit slicked fingers had already slipped behind, teasing and hinting at things to come and Jonathan didn't know which sensation drove him to edge and pushed him over. He bit down on his lip and came in Kerrison's mouth.

Jonathan was still trying to catch his breath when Kerrison stood up and leaned in close, his eyes wide and wild. "I've wanted to do that since the first time I saw yer through the skylight!"

Jonathan took a deep breath and tried to steady his voice. "And what else have you wanted to do Mr Kerrison?"

"This." Kerrison roughly turned him to face the wall.

"Has he taken yer like this?" The words were a hot whisper in his ear.

"Yes, but not standing." Was all Jonathan managed to say before he felt Kerrison claim his body in one long hard thrust.

Fast and hard, he should have known it would be like this, for Kerrison had said as much during their talks on the quarterdeck. It was what he probably deserved too, Jonathan decided, for sneaking down here with Kerrison behind Archie's back. And yet Jonathan couldn't deny the thrill of Kerrison's rough possession. Nor could he disguise the moan that slipped past his clenched teeth when Kerrison frantic thrusts pushed Jonathan to ecstasy again.

He would have slipped, had not Kerrison been leaning so hard against his back that it was impossible to move.

"So tell me Mr Riley, did yer do that just to get even with Mr Kennedy for ditching yer?" It was impossible to tell what was behind Kerrison's words for any emotion was well shaded by his laboured breathing. The weight behind him lifted and Jonathan turned around, finally meeting Kerrison's eyes. He wanted no mistakes this time.

"There was a little of that in it Kerrison, I'll be honest. But it wasn't the only reason." Jonathan looked into the hazel eyes that waited expectantly.

"I've...wanted to...wanted you...for a while now. I...like you; I like your company. I enjoy talking with you and being with you. I didn't do anything before now because I felt it would be wrong, me being with Arch...Mr Kennedy. But tonight, when he, well....if he has other lovers then why shouldn't I."

Kerrison raised an eyebrow. "Lovers?" he echoed with a slight grin.

"Err, well...yes,...but I understand if you don't, well...that is, if it's not like..that...for you." Jonathan bent down and pulled up his breeches sadly. Why should he expect anything more from Kerrison after what had just taken place? It was hardly a romantic interlude. Dear God, would he ever get it right?

"Can I ask yer one more thing Mr Riley?" Suddenly Kerrison's voice was low and gentle. Jonathan looked up again, surprised.

"Can I kiss yer?" The question was unexpected and Jonathan simply nodded, not knowing what to make of Kerrison or what to expect any more. He braced himself for another rough encounter and was unprepared for the hesitant lips that touched his own.  Kissing was obviously not amongst Kerrison's accomplishments. But the mate slowly gained confidence as Jonathan invited a deepening of their kiss.

They stood like that for several minutes, enjoying the simple pleasure that contained all the intimacy that their previous encounter had lacked. When they parted, they looked at each other almost shyly.

"I was right yer know," Kerrison said softly, "You are all soft and sweet. Very sweet." His hands came up to play with Jonathan's hair, tugging playfully at the strands and watching them curl up again.

"And you are rather soft too Mr Kerrison." Jonathan purred back. He reached up to touch Kerrison's face, gently exploring the roughened cheeks and soft lips.

"I won't be if yer keep doing that," Kerrison replied, and turned his head slightly to kiss Jonathan's fingers. "Come on, we been too long about it as it is." The Mate bent to pull up his trousers.
 

"Is this how you always have to do it Kerrison? Down here in the hold?" Jonathan asked as they slowly made their way back to their berths.

"Not always," Kerrison replied reaching down to fondle Jonathan's arse as they walked. "There's a few other places, the Lady's Hole, some parts of the Carpenter's walk, the cable tier." He appeared to think for a moment. "I done it in a hammock a couple of times, but yer have to have someone standing look out if yer going to try that. Yer need calm seas too or yer likely to get pitched out."

Kerrison slipped his hand up to Jonathan's waist and pulled him closer. "Where ever yer do it it's always a risk," Kerrison whispered between kisses. "But some risks are worth the taking."
 
 

Part 41

Jonathan didn't return to the Middy's berth, instead he made his way up to the main deck to try and make some sense of his confusion. That he felt something for Kerrison was no longer in dispute. But he still loved Archie and really didn't want to choose one over the other. Perhaps this was what Archie had been trying to explain earlier about his relationship with Peter Crittenden. Perhaps such things did not simply end, perhaps they went on..

"Jonathan?"

"Archie? What are you doing here?" Jonathan prayed that Archie would not see the guilty blush that coloured his cheeks.

"I've come back. I've spoken with Peter and we have made our peace, well peace of a sort I suppose. There was no point in staying."

"Did you sleep with him?"

"Good heavens Jonathan! Is that what you were thinking?" Jonathan's silence spoke volumes.

"Do you really think I would be so...so...callous to Peter's feeling to even consider that? I've hurt him deeply; sex is the last thing he would have on his mind!"

"I thought you might have wanted to ask him about that other... matter, you know that ..?"

Archie shook his head and closed his eyes. "I could hardly ask about something like that after breaking his heart, Jonathan. Did you really imagine that was what I was going to do?"

"I'm sorry Archie, perhaps I wasn't thinking clearly." That much was more than obvious considering his actions tonight. My God, what have I done, Jonathan lamented silently.

"No, I think the fault is mine! I'm glad I found you here Jonathan because I really do owe you an apology. What I said earlier...well I really didn't handle it very well. You have every right to be angry with me."

"Oh no Archie, I do understand. It's I who should.."

"Jonathan, can you ever forgive me? I was so confused about my feelings for you and my feelings for Peter that I just acted without thinking about how YOU would see it all." Archie continued, regret clear in his voice.

"Archie, really, you don't have to.." Archie's self recrimination was only making Jonathan more conscious of his own transgression. He felt tears prick at his eyes.

"Jonathan I want you to know that I will make it up to you during our next shore leave. I'll get us a room together where we can be alone. You'd like that wouldn't you Jonathan?"

"Yes Archie but I have to tell you that.." Confession would be painful, but Archie deserved that much.

"What Jonathan? Have you been crying? Are they tears I see in your eyes? Did I hurt you that much?"

"You're making fun of me Archie!" Jonathan said plaintively. How could Archie mistake his remorse for sorrow? Couldn't Archie see the burden of guilt that he now carried?

"No I'm not Jonathan," Archie said and raised his fingers to brush away the single tear which had escaped. "I feel terrible when I think how I must have hurt.."

"Is there something the matter with Midshipman Riley, Mr Kennedy?" Lieutenant Overton's voice sounded from the quarterdeck.

Archie dropped his hand. He stared over Jonathan's shoulder and answered, "Mr Riley seems to have something in his eye, Mr Overton. I was just assisting him."

Slowly Jonathan turned to face the oncoming footsteps. Frantically he rubbed at his eyes, in an attempt his hide his tears and give Archie's tale some credence.

Overton stopped a step away and stared at Jonathan, then Archie.

"Perhaps we should take Mr Riley down to the infirmary and let the surgeon examine him and see what he can find."

The double meaning of Overton's words struck Jonathan like a blow. He was all too aware of what damning evidence would be found by anyone who cared to examine him tonight. But Overton couldn't know that! Was it purely a coincidence or had Overton used those words deliberately to see what sort of reaction they would get? Jonathan felt Archie shifting slightly beside him and tried to school his own guilty face.

"That might be a good idea, Sir. The surgeon may have some potion to cleanse your eye Mr Riley." Archie replied. "How is it now?"

Jonathan rubbed at his eye again, not sure how to proceed. "It seems a little better now Sir."

"Did it happen ashore Mr Riley? While you were with Mr Kennedy perhaps?" Ashore?  Did Overton think they had been ashore together?

"Sir I haven't been ashore. I was down in the Middies Berth but I couldn't sleep. I came up for some air and something must have blown into my eye."

"Haven't been ashore? Didn't the Captain give you the evening ashore Mr Riley?"

"Yes but I didn't go, Sir"

"Is that correct Mr Kennedy?"

Jonathan chanced a quick look at Archie, who seemed surprised that Overton had doubted Jonathan's word.

"Mr Riley hasn't been ashore Sir, at least not to my knowledge. I was having dinner with Mr Crittenden at the Golden Bull. I just arrived back in the cutter and found Mr Riley here rubbing at his eye."

"I see," Overton answered, still looking from one to the other. "Well perhaps your eyes are merely tired Mr Riley. I suggest you go back to your berth and try to sleep. We sail on the morning tide and the last thing we will need is Midshipmen who are tired because they have been up all night with something in their...EYE!"
 

Part 42

By morning, Jonathan wasn't sure which of his worries was the greater. As they weighed anchor and unfurled the sails Jonathan's mind was tossed from one problem to another like a tiny ship on an angry sea. If only he had thought a little more yesterday. Thought about Peter Crittenden's feeling, though about Archie's feeling and actions, thought a little about his own reactions before going after Kerrison. Had he used the Mate as a way to get back at Archie? No, for he genuinely liked Kerrison and couldn't regret their encounter last night. Perhaps if he could explain all this to Archie, then everything would be all right.

At least Kerrison seemed in fine spirits as they headed through the straits. Kerrison chanced a wink at Jonathan when he thought no one was looking. Jonathan couldn't help but smile back, his heart in turmoil, his mind taking another sharp dive. What about Kerrison? What would the Mate expect from their relationship now? Would he be content with just one night or would he want more? He needed to talk with Kerrison too, Jonathan decided.

Archie avoided him for most of the day and Jonathan was acutely aware of Lieutenant Overton watching his every move. He wondered if Overton had spoken further with Archie after he had gone below last night. He was therefore not surprised when he was summoned to Captain Pellew's cabin late that afternoon.

"Lieutenant Overton has voiced a concern about your welfare Mr Riley," the Captain began without introduction. Riley stood to attention in and stared at the bulkhead above the casement windows, wondering what was to come.

"He seems to be of the opinion that you may be in some form of ...moral danger from Mr Kennedy!" Pellew turned away and wandered to the casement windows.

"Before I say any more, I will ask you directly, has Mr Kennedy made any unwelcomed suggestions or advances to you Mr Riley?" Pellew turned back and fixed Jonathan with his sharp gaze.

"Oh NO, Sir. Not at all." Jonathan replied vehemently.

"Then am I to assume that you are a willing party to whatever is taking place?"

Jonathan blinked, shocked by the Captain's knowledge.

"Yes, Sir," he muttered, dropping his eyes to the deck and wondering if he should take the blame and spare Archie the indignity.

"Be easy Mr Riley, I'm not going to hang you, yet!" Jonathan looked up at those words, but the Captain had turned away again and was frowning at something out the window.

"If your behaviour is such that the First Lieutenant has cause to note it then it is inappropriate to say the least! Not too long ago you stood in this office with several of your fellow midshipman whilst I very clearly spoke about what was considered acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. I would have thought, Mr Riley that you of all people would not have forgotten my words!"

Jonathan stood silently. He doubted the Captain expected an answer.

"I had hoped that by sending you and Mr Kennedy on the Mistral together, you would have found time to... settle...the...friendship... that seemed to be developing between the two of you. However it appears that I may have been mistaken.

"You are probably aware that a certain amount of lassitude is given to the particular friendships that form between Midshipmen provided discretion is maintained. Such things happen. However friendships of that nature between Midshipmen and Officers are dangerous, Mr Riley, very dangerous.

"Mr Kennedy has already felt the undeserved sting of accusation and I have no wish to have to bring such charges against him again. But if further reports of unbecoming behaviour are brought to me then I will have no alternative but to pursue them. As Mr Kennedy is senior to you, it is HE who will most likely carry the blame. Do you understand me, Mr Riley?"

"Yes Captain."

"Good. Put an end to whatever is going on between you whilst you are on my ship! That's an order Mr Riley!"

"Aye, aye Sir." Jonathan replied, standing to attention.
 

"I suppose the Captain has spoken to you?" They were a day out of Gibraltar, taking the noonday sightings on the main deck. Archie, assisting Mr Bowles the Master, was balancing the sextant whilst Jonathan wrote his calculations on his slate. Behind them the three younger midshipmen were listening silently as Mr Bowles ranted at their mistakes.

"Yes. Damn Overton! This is all his fault." Jonathan muttered under his breath, confident that no one could hear them.

"Discretion, Jonathan, discretion! Blaspheming against the First Officer will do no good! Besides, Mr Overton is only doing his job. He's a good man with YOUR well being at heart. I just wish we'd had an officer half as observant as he on the Justinian!"

Jonathan looked up and caught Archie's eyes, seeing for the first time the other side of the equation. It was a sobering realisation.

"I didn't see it like that Archie."

"There is always two sides to everything Jonathan. You just have to learn to look for them."  Archie bent a little closer. "I hope the Captain wasn't too hard on you?"

Jonathan shook his head. "No, I was more surprised than anything."

"We must mark his words well Jonathan. He won't give us a second chance. We must be strictly formal in our dealings with one another from now on."

"But I really need to speak to you about something. It's terribly important." Jonathan had decided last night that he owed Archie a full confession of what had happened with Kerrison. He just had to find the right opportunity.

"Jonathan it will HAVE to wait until we reach Portsmouth. It's only a couple of weeks. Save it until then. I'll get us a nice room and we will have plenty of time to talk about everything. I promise you. Do you understand Mr Riley?"

Jonathan looked up at the change in Archie voice, but the blues eyes that met his own were still soft with friendship.

"Yes Mr Kennedy," Jonathan replied sadly.
 
 
 
 
 

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